


A Lover's or A Liar's Moon?

by Stargazer1116



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Domestic Fluff, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy not Smutty, Fluffy-duffy-bum-bum, Hallmark Channel of Reylo, Miscarriage, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Skywalker Family Drama, WWII
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-18 04:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 30,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16110698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargazer1116/pseuds/Stargazer1116
Summary: "A Lover's Moon soars clear and bright, guiding true love throughout night. But a Liar's Moon lurks misty and gray, scheming to drive true love away." Who is lying and who is telling the truth? Lives are twisted up and threatened until the truth comes out...but will it be too late?This is a twist on a movie from the 80’s called “Liar’s Moon.” If you know the story...SHHHH!!!! I am going to play at a Rey/Ben theory here...but hold on tight! This idea started with that movie, but became a mashup between that, my grandparents’ post-WWII love story, and odes to my home state of California. As always, my fics aren’t posted until complete, update quickly, and are solidly “Teen and Up” rated...will not change. I am the Hallmark of Reylo...fluffy, emotional stories about people falling in love and the life that can get in the way. Additional tags will get added later. ENJOY!





	1. Lost - July, 1946

Rey reached back for the bandana in the back pocket of her coveralls to wipe at the sweat stinging in her eyes. Texas in the summer could be quite...unpleasant. She was grateful to Chewie for her job, but right now the hot auto shop was the last place she wanted to be.

A lot of people didn’t want to associate with her...on account of her Mama. Qi’ra Johnson was still a beautiful woman in her mid-forties...but she was frowned upon by society. Maybe if was her drinking. Maybe it was on account of no one knowing who Rey’s daddy was...and no one really knowing how many candidates there were. Maybe is was the loser she was living with now, Unkar, that made Rey finally flee and live with the Tico sisters.

Whatever the reason...probably all of the reasons...Qi’ra’s reputation fell on Rey.

It wasn’t really fair, but that is how society worked. Nevermind that Rey was smart. She couldn’t go to school. That wasn’t an option for her. Nevermind that Rey worked hard. She was the best mechanic that Chewie had ever had. At least, that is what he told her. Nevermind that Rey had steered clear of all her mama’s pitfalls. She didn’t date, she didn’t drink...and she chose to be plain. Qi’ra flaunted her beauty...but Rey hid hers.

She sighed. She stood to stretch her back out and looked out across the field by the shop. Just down the way was Broadacres where the exclusive homes in town were. Not for the first time, Rey wondered what her life would have been like if she was born in one of those homes instead of the shack on the wrong side of the tracks.

Would she be a society girl? Would she have gone to college? What would it be like to know three meals a day are coming? What would it be like to grow up with her own room...or in a bedroom at all instead of a threadbare couch? It would have been yellow and frilly...like the sunshine indoors. Rey imagined party frocks and dances. Handsome university men to ask her out. She imagined clean fingernails...

She sighed again, feeling much older than her nineteen years. She needed to get back at it. 

She stepped back in the shop and finished the oil change. The customer was due back in an hour. She had time to wash the lovely red convertible before they returned, now that she was done. The water would feel good too on her overheated skin.

She shook off the daydreams and focused on gratitude. She had a lovely apartment with the Tico sisters, who both were secretaries for the Falcon Oil company. She had enough to eat, a warm bed, and a modest closet with a dress and a few casual outfits that all fit her...more than she had ever had. And she was free from Unkar and Qi’ra.

Life was...enough.

______________________________________

Ben Solo drove down the dusty road in the old pickup, heading back into Houston from their family ranch outside of town. 

The serenity of the ranch was calming to him. He needed calm.

The noises of the city were too much for him, sometimes. The backfire of a car could sound too much like gunfire. It made him jumpy. He had seen too much.

Captain Ben Solo came home from the war as a decorated hero. His silver star and other commendations attested to it. But they were all locked in the family safe, now...and he didn’t want to talk about them.

He didn’t want to talk to them, because if he did, he would have to talk about why...and he couldn’t talk about why.

He couldn’t talk about what he had seen...what he had heard...what he had done.

No...let them say what they want. As far as he was concerned, that was locked all away now.

Except, it really wasn’t. It leaked out...especially in the night. When his conscious mind couldn’t control his thoughts, and the images came screaming back.

His parents hadn’t said anything. He knew they heard him. He would see their sympathetic looks the next morning at breakfast, offering to listen if he wanted to talk. Except he didn’t...want to.

But then...at the same time...he missed the intense camaraderie that he experienced in the army. The 82nd Airborne had become his family--his brothers. They were bonded with memories and unutterable ties that no one could understand. He missed it...the belonging.

So he would flee to the ranch. He would mend fences, and ride Silencer. He would sometimes stay out there for a week at a time.

He was lost. 

He had plans to head back to Harvard for law school in February. He just needed a bit more time. But, he would go. It was expected of him.

But for now...for now he was floundering.

Poe and Hux were doing their best...Phas too. They were dragging him off to the fair in a few days. It would be fun...a diversion.

He needed more than a diversion. What...he didn’t know...but more.

____________________________________

Rey giggled as Rose pulled dress options out of Paige’s closet. Rose was short and curvy, but Rey and Paige had more similar tall, lithe figures. 

“Rey-Rey...you deserve a fun night out. You work so hard. C’mon...you are gonna scrub all that motor oil from your fingernails, get dressed up, and who know...maybe meet a boy!”

“Rose...you know I don’t date,” she reiterated for what felt like the thousandth time. Her friend was incorrigible.

Rose sank down on the floor next to her, the full skirt of the dress she was still holding fluffing out as she hit the floor. 

“Why not again?” Rose queried.

“Because Mama…”

Rose put her hand up and stopped her. “Rey Johnson, you and Qi’ra are as different as night and day. The chances of you ending up like her are about the same as an armadillo getting hunted for a fur coat.”

Her friend’s large hazel eyes grew somber. “I...I can’t risk it, Rose.”

“So what...you are just going to fix cars in Chewie’s shop for the rest of your life and die an old maid?”

“No...I don’t think always fixing cars….but the old maid part...probably…”

“You are too beautiful to die an old maid. It would be a crime against all the single men in Houston.”

Rey wrinkled her nose. “No boys...but I will let you dress me up for the fair...is that a deal?”

Rose wiggled her eyebrows up and down, “It is a start...but I’m not signing on the dotted line just yet…”

She stood back up and went back to her sister’s closet.

“Oooh...This one I think. This color would be the bee’s knees on you. What do you think?

Rey looked at the green dress Rose was holding up. It was a simple style. Cap sleeves and a full skirt. The shade was somewhere between grass and moss, matching the green flecks in her eyes. Most of all, it looked more comfortable than the straight skirts Rose has started with.

The jobs the Tico sisters had as secretaries at Falcon Oil must pay a lot more than hers.

“Sure...it’s perfect.”

Rose hung it up in the doorway and ran her hand over imaginary wrinkles in the skirt, smoothing it all down.

“Did I tell you that Paige told Poe we would hang out with them? He has a few friends home from college, and he was looking for some friends in town to hang out with.”

She nodded absentmindedly. “Sure.”

Rose sighed. “I wonder if Finn will be there…”

Rey giggled at her friend again. She was over the moon for one of the workers at the oil refinery. 

“Maybe so, Rose...maybe so.”


	2. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter to get things moving!

Ben was almost done with his breakfast. He had managed to have a normal conversation with his parents about his Dad’s oil business. Falcon was a fast-rising leader in oil drilling and refinery, respectable and rising in the industry despite the questionable way Han attained it. They didn’t really share with everyone that he won it in a poker game from his old friend Lando. Han didn’t gamble anymore, though.

He was finishing his coffee and was preparing to leave, the last one at the table now, when Han popped his head back in.

“By the way...if you plan to take the coupe tomorrow night and make it to the fair in one piece, you better take it out to Chewie’s today. It’s been sitting for too long. It at least needs an oil change.”

“Sure, Pa. I’ll head over once I’m done here.”

Han nodded, then headed out the front door. Ben watched him drive off.

The two of them had never had the best relationship. Han was gone most of Ben’s growing up years, out building the business in the oil fields. He was home more now, but still gone most of the day at the office. 

But now he seemed...Ben struggled to name it. Softer...that was it. Han was softer with him. 

His teen years, he was always riding him...pushing him. He was a self-made man, but he wanted his son to have an education. He wanted Ben to have opportunities.

When he graduated and told them he was enlisting...Han didn’t say anything, but his eyes filled and his hand heavy on Ben’s shoulder told him all he needed to know. 

He thought getting home, and not going back to school yet...he thought he’d be back to riding him. But he wasn’t. Han seemed content to have him around and was in no hurry to push him away from home again just yet.

Ben swallowed down the rest of his coffee and headed out to the garage. He hadn’t seen Uncle Chewie yet. He turned over the engine and tested the gas. He felt confident enough in the coupe to stop by Maz’s bakery for one of her spice muffins that Chewie loved.

____________________________

“BENJAMIN SOLO!”

Ben’s head ducked and his ears colored at the attention she was bringing to him. “Hey Maz.”

She peered up at him with those thick glasses of hers that magnified the size of her eyes. “Why have you been back in town for a week and this is the first I am seeing of you?”

He shrugged. “Sorry...my mom’s had me busy.”

Maz cocked her head and smirked at him. “I’m sure she has. She has designs on you to get married to a local girl.”

“Well...I am off to law school next year...I’m not planning to…”

Maz leaned over the glass case her bakery items were stored in and whispered to him. “She told me she wants you to date that Cora Williams…”

“Oh...well, I don’t know…”

“I don’t like her. She’s beautiful and pedigreed, but rude and empty-minded. You can do better.”

He smiled down at her. He could always count on Maz to be frank. “I will keep that in mind.”

“See that you do. Now...what can I get my war hero.”

He winced, “Really, Maz, I’m not…”

“Fine...what can I get the man who I used to change his diapers…”

“Two spice muffins,” he said quickly.

“Two?” she asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“I’m on my way to take the coupe to Chewie.”

She broke out in a big smile. “I like that Wookie. Tell him I said hi.”

“Wookie?”

She waved her hand at him as she plucked the muffins out with the other and placed them in a paper sack. “It’s my pet name for my boyfriend. He likes my cookies...and I needed something that rhymed.”

“Boyfriend? I guess more happened while I was gone than I thought.”

She just smiled cryptically. “Well...he doesn’t know it yet…”

A chuckle escaped his throat. The feeling was unfamiliar.

She handed him the bag and winked. “It’s on the house...for diaper boy and my boyfriend.”

He took it and winked back. “I’ll be sure to tell him you said so.”

_____________________________________

He parked the car in front of the shop office and stepped inside. Not long after the bell on the door announced his entrance, he saw his uncle step inside from the back, wiping his hands on a rag.

“BEN!” He exclaimed and grabbed him, wrapping him up in a bear hug.

Uncle Chewie was the only one in Ben’s life that made him feel petite. At almost seven feet, he made Ben’s 6’3” seem small. 

“Are you a sight for sore eyes. I was wondering when you might come around.”

“Well...I need to get the coupe looked at, make sure she’s OK to run around, and I brought a bribe to try to get it looked at soon!”

He held up the bag.

Chewie turned and yelled out the back door, “Rey--can you to an oil change and tune-up on the black coupe out front?”

Ben saw a small man in overalls and a baseball cap walk out front and drive the car around back.

Chewie poured them each a cup of coffee and sat at his desk, motioning for Ben to take the seat in front.

They just sat in silence, chewing on the fragrant muffins. His uncle was a man of few words. He asked him a bit what he’s been doing since he’s been home, and what was happening on the ranch, but avoided the war.

Ben was grateful, and for the first time since coming home, he felt normal.

__________________________________

He and Chewie sat together for well over an hour when Ben heard a bell out back.

“Well...sounds like Rey had the coupe ready.”

Ben nodded. “What do I owe you?” he asked, taking out his wallet.

Chewie looked down at him, chewing on a toothpick. “You trying to offend me, boy?”

Even though he knew Chewie was kidding him, the tone was the same he used when Ben was younger and in trouble. “No Sir,” he responded by rote.

“Go on around back and Rey will give you your keys.”

He shook the large man’s hand and headed out back.

The hood of his car was still open, and he could see the slight man’s figure bent over inside.

“Oh...I’m sorry...Chewie said you were done.”

He heard a soft voice call out, “I am...I was just checking one last thing…”

Ben stood frozen. When the figure came up and slammed down the hood, he suspicion was confirmed. Rey was not a man...he...it...she was a young woman.

“You….you're a girl,” he stammered.

She gave him a saucy grin. “Sure am...at least last time I checked.”

“I just didn’t expect...didn’t think a woman would…”

She crossed her arms over her chest and her features steeled. “You have a problem with a woman working on your car?”

He seemed flustered. She almost felt sorry for him.

“No ma’am...just unexpected.”

“Relax...you're not the first to be...surprised...to have me working on their car. But, I assure you, I am trained and qualified.”

She looked back at the car. “She’s a beauty. It’s a 1939 Cadillac Series 75 Convertible Coupe, right?”

He just nodded, now even more stunned at her knowledge of cars.

“It’s the first time I’ve had my hands in one.” She held out his keys, “Take good care of her.”

He took the keys and mumbled a goodbye.

As he adjusted the mirrors, he saw her take the cap off her head and shake out her chestnut waves.

She was most unexpected.


	3. Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stars align for a night at the fair!

The Galveston County eighth annual fair was in full swing when the girls arrived. Rey had let Rose finger wave her hair and add some flesh-pink lipstick, but that was it. Just putting the dress on made Rey feel like a different person.

“Where are we meeting them?” Rose asked.

“6:00 at the greased pig contest.”

The girls checked the billboard with the map and made their way to the coral where the contest would be held.

Their eyes widened when they saw Poe was a participant.

At the shotgun start, the pig was released and the eight men clamored after it. A fiddler provided upbeat music as the contestants tried to capture the slipper swine. In the end, a large man named Bubba won, but Poe had come close once or twice.

He returned the coveralls the fair provided and shrugged his shirt back on as he caught Paige’s eye. He ran over to say hi, kissing her on the cheek and greeted the other girls.

“Ben...Hugs...come to meet the girls.”

A tall man with shocking red hair started lumbering over...right in front of the even taller man with wavy back hair. Rey couldn’t believe her eyes.

Poe started to introduce them, but Rey stuck her hand out to shake. “Ben...how’s the car?”

His face was stoic, but he replied, “Perfect...I have a really good mechanic.”

Poe glanced between the two. “I take it you two know each other?”

Ben nodded, “It seems she works for Chewie.”

Poe glanced back over to her and whistled, “She doesn’t look like any mechanic I’ve ever seen.”

“Me either,” Ben said with a soft smile.

_______________________________

Ben could hardly believe his eyes. He had thought Rey was lovely when he saw her yesterday, but here tonight...like this…

She took his breath away. He had never seen anyone so beautiful.

He decided that hazel eyes were definitely the most lovely color...

They fell in step together as they walked to the food area. Poe had offered his arm to Paige to escort her, and Rose and Hux were chatting it up about some music group.

“So...Ben. What is it you do?”

He laughed softly. “Nothing, right now. I just got back to town.”

“Oh...were you at school?”

He was quiet for a minute before responding, “No...from the war.”

Her eyes flew to his and he didn’t see pity...but admiration and warmth.

“I...I can’t imagine. I’m glad...you are back safely. Thank you...for what you did.”

He just nodded, hands in his pockets as they walked. He was worried she would ask more...but she didn’t. He found her demeanor soothing, and he thought to himself he wouldn’t mind if she did ask more.

“So...are you just staying in town now?”

“Sure...for now. I am planning to head off to law school in February.”

“Oh? So you already went to college?”

“I did.”

“State?”

“Harvard,” he said flatly.

“Oh...so you are a smart idle man, huh?”

He grinned down at her. He liked when she teased him.

“I’ve been at our ranch working a bit. I like it better out there. It’s quiet. The city can be a bit much.”

She nodded. “I agree. I would like to live in the country someday. Did you...grow up here?”

“I did...and you?”

She nodded shyly.

He looked down at her and asked with a lopsided grin, “So...did you always want to be a mechanic?”

She laughed. It was a light, tinkling thing. “Not hardly. I had a...stepfather...who taught me some. Chewie took me under his wing when I was still in school and taught me the rest. He has been very kind to me.” That was stretching the truth a bit. She knew Qi’ra had never been married, but the man before Unkar was a decent guy, and he had taught her how to work on cars.

Ben’s voice was deep. “I’ve known him my whole life...he is my father’s best friend. He is a very good man.”

They were in front of the food now. He asked what she’d like.

“I was going to get the BBQ plate...and you?”

“The same.”

Before she could protest, he had purchased two plates and was carrying them towards the tables.

She rushed after him, recovering from her surprise.

“Ben...you didn’t need to..”

“I wanted to.”

“But...you aren’t my date. You don’t owe me anything…”

He looked down on her with serious eyes, before setting down their plates and sitting down as well.

“What if I was?”

She drew in a breath in surprise. “I...I don’t date.”

He studied her face carefully before responding, “Then I guess it’s just a tip for the excellent work you did on my car.”

Her face broke out in a smile, “That I can accept.”

Her smiles were contagious. He couldn’t stop one from spreading across his face. “Good...now we can eat.”

___________________________________

“Do you miss it at all?” she asked.

They were waiting for their friends, sitting on a bench at the exit of the ride they elected to skip. Ben had had enough thrills to last a lifetime in the many jumps he did as a paratrooper, and Rey decided to stay with him.

She liked talking to him. It was easy.

He exhaled. “Yes...and no. I don’t miss the obvious things...but I miss the relationships. I’ve never had that...connections with people where you knew they had your back, no matter what.”

“That makes sense. I think trauma teaches us a depth that is indescribable.”

He surveyed her, recognizing the pain in her eyes.

“What was yours? Your trauma? I see it there...hiding in your eyes…”

She looked down at her hands, vacillating about what to say.

“You don’t have to tell me...I understand.” His voice was gentle...and it made her want to.

“I...I am just afraid of what you might think of me if I do,” she started tentatively.

He just watched her. She took a deep breath and continued.

“My mama is Qi’ra Johnson...have you heard of her?”

The name rang some recognition in his mind, but he couldn’t place it.

“She...well, let’s just say she’s not much of a church-going woman...the place would probably burn down if she stepped foot inside.”

That...that was sounding more familiar, but he didn’t let on about his limited knowledge of her and the rumors about her.

Rey looked straight ahead, and he could see tears shimmering in her eyes. “I...I don’t even know who my daddy is, and I moved out two years ago when her current...errrr...beau...made it clear he wasn’t going to support me and made some inappropriate suggestions about how I could earn my keep.”

Ben felt the anger surge through his body. His fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly while he wrestled to control his temper.

“Anyhow...she has quite the reputation, my mama.”

He leaned forward now, forearms on his knees as he turned to look at her. His movement caught her eye, and she turned to look at him once her confession was out. She was startled by the intense expression on his face.

“And just how, exactly, did you think your mama’s sins are yours to carry? Why do you think that would change my opinion of you?” His voice was tight...as if it was being restrained.

Her eyebrows raised in surprise. “Well...because everyone else does?” She shook her head, her dark waves bouncing as she did. “Anyhow…that is why I don’t date. I want nothing to do with her...or the reputation that got her there. I figure it’s simpler to live my life free of all that.”

He considered her words carefully, and then asked softly, “What about friends, Rey...do you have room for more friends? Because I have enjoyed talking to you tonight, and I would very much like to have more conversations with my new friend Rey.”

His words brought a shy smile to her face. “I always have room for friends...and I have enjoyed talking to you too. You are easy to talk to...like you get me differently from my friends who haven’t gone through hard things, you know?”

He nodded, “Me too, Rey.” He looked to the side and then back at her. “Would you like to go to the ranch? It’s a half-hour drive...lots of time to talk there and back.”

Again, he was graced with her brilliant smile. “Do you have animals?”

He grinned, “It’s a veritable zoo out there. Horses, cattle, chickens, dogs, cats…”

“That sounds amazing!” she exclaimed.

“When?”

She kicked her foot at the ground. “I have Saturdays and Sundays off.”

“Tomorrow?” he pushed.

“After church? Around noon?”

That surprised him. She really was trying to go in the opposite direction of her mama.

“Shall I pick you up there or at your apartment?”

“The church is closer to town...First Baptist on Elm?”

The chatter of their returning friends interrupted. He leaned over and whispered in her ear. “I’ll be there.”


	4. Ranch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know you...down home on the ranch

Ben considered himself a God-fearing man. But, he hadn’t been to church since he was a teen. The war had both drawn him closer and yet pushed him away from his faith with conflicting complexity.

It was simpler...before he knew what he knew now and saw what he saw. Now it was messy...life was messy.

So, he surprised himself when he slipped quietly into the back pew of Rey’s church, just as the sermon was starting.

He found her sitting just a few rows back from the front, next to the Tico sisters he met at the fair. He couldn’t see her well, but he saw her rapt attention on the message and felt a little guilty for not paying attention himself.

Her pastor was endearing and earnest. Before he knew it, the service was over. He stood just as she made her way to the back of the aisle. She hadn’t seen him yet.

“Oh...Ben!” she gasped in surprise.

“Rey...Rose...Paige…” he acknowledged them all, but his eyes stayed on her face.

That is why he didn’t notice Rose elbowing Rey in the ribs. “So...have fun kids! Don’t stay out too late!”

He stood there, hands shoved in his pockets and uncertainty spread across his face. Suddenly in the light of day, the prospect of spending the day with her flustered him.

“Are...are you ready?”

She smiled and held up a tote. “I am...I brought clothes to change into. Should I do that now or…” she queried.

She looked pretty, in the yellow dress she was wearing. He thought he’d like to see her in it for a bit longer.

“You can wait till we are there if you want. You can change at the house...that way we can get on the road.”

She nodded and bit her lip.

They turned to walk out, she called out to the pastor standing at the door to greet congregants as they exited.

“Oh, Pastor Kenobi. This is my friend...Ben Solo. Ben...Pastor Kenobi.”

The older man held out his hand to shake it. “Ben...you're Han and Leia’s boy."

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ve known your family for some time. I heard you just got home...is that true?”

Ben just nodded this time.

Pastor Kenobi still held his hand in his grasp and brought his other to squeeze his bicep. “Thank you for your service, son. I was praying for you.”

Ben was touched and felt a connection to this man. “I...thank you, sir. It must have worked seeing how I am home in one piece.”

The wise blue eyes peering up at him grew serious. “Not all wounds are physical, Ben. I was in the last war...and I can be a listening ear if you need.”

They nodded at each other in understanding, and then Ben caught up with Rey who was waiting patiently on the steps for him.

“Sorry...he knows my family. I’m just parked down the street…”

They made their way to the coupe, and when they were just a few steps away, he held the keys out to her.

Her eyebrows flew to her hairline. “What? Do you mean it?” she gushed.

He just shrugged. She squealed as she reached for the keys while dropping her tote in the back seat. She paused for a minute at the door before opening it.

“Are...are you sure, Ben?” she asked, soberer now.

“Yep,” he tossed back to her as he walked around to the passenger seat.

She sat in the driver’s seat and lovingly caressed the steering wheel with her small hands. When she turned and looked at him, it was like the sun breaking through the clouds.

When he was with her it was like the world was right again...like it was before he left. Well...better than that.

As he smiled back, his heart clenched in recognition of what was happening.

He...he was falling for her.

_________________________________

Ben expected his admission to himself to make him feel more uncomfortable around her.

It had the opposite effect. He was more at ease. Something about her just felt right...she felt like home.

They talked all the way to the ranch about cars. It started about the coupe but then turned into other cars. He told her about some of the military vehicles and planes.

When they got to the ranch, he made sandwiches from the ham and cheese he had left two days before while she changed.

She came back to the kitchen in jeans and a men’s button down shirt, cuffed and tied up.

He glanced down and laughed at how big it was on her.

“Chewie’s?” he smirked.

She laughed and nodded. “That obvious, huh?”

He handed her the sandwich and soda pop bottle, then led her out to the porch swing to eat.

He pointed out different buildings and areas of the ranch. She inhaled the sweet scent of the gardenias that bordered the front of the house.

“Do you know how to ride?”

She shook her head. “I’ve never even seen a real horse...in person, anyway.”

“Would you like to learn?”

“Mmmm-hmmm” she affirmed, a mouth full of ham sandwich. The possibilities that awaited her on the ranch made her feel hurried to get to it.

She met the dogs and a new baby calf on her way to the barn. The barn cats purred up against her leg as they entered.

She noticed that there were several horse stalls.

“How many do you have? Horses, that is?”

There are six. Silencer, Artoo, Falcon, Threepio, Beebee and….” he stopped at the last stall that housed a gentle looking grey mare with white starburst shapes across her torso and neck, “...Starlight. She was my nanny’s horse. She is gentle...you will be safe as a kitten on her.”

“Which one is yours?” she asked as he started hefting down saddles and tack.

He motioned his head towards the large black stallion. “Silencer. Not so gentle, but Starlight settles him a bit. He likes her.”

She watched him settle the blanket and then the saddle on the mares back. She knew Ben was tall, but not until now did she realize how big he was in general.

In just in a white t-shirt and jeans tucked into boots, his form wasn’t hidden like it was in his other clothes. She could see the muscles rippling across his back as he worked.

She swallowed and looked away. That made her feel funny.

When she looked back, he was done with her horse and had moved to heft Silencers saddle off the wall and up on his back. His arm muscles bulged and strained with the motion.

“Those look...heavy…” she commented.

He glanced over his shoulder at her while he settled it on his back before he reached down to fasten the cinch.

“I suppose they would be...for someone your size,” he drawled.

When he looked back again, her arms were folded across her chest at him again, and her face was annoyed. “I’m stronger than I look, Solo.”

“I’m sure you must be, working with all those car parts. I’ll tell you what, you can help me take them off after and prove it,” he grinned as he motioned her over to Starlight. He looked her legs over for a few beats before reaching up to adjust the stirrups.

“So...you want to step up and secure your left leg in this stirrup, then grab onto the horn here and use that leg and arms to heft up your right leg up and over. Think you can do that?”

Her eyes glinted at him with a steel he was growing used to seeing while her eyebrow furrowed. “I think I can handle it.”

She stepped up with her left foot and grabbed the saddle horn, then did a few practice motions before swinging her right leg over like a pro.

“Well...it appears you are a natural,” he teased as he adjusted the stirrup once more and then patted Starlight’s rump.

“Just hold her reins lightly. She just takes a gentle touch, and she will likely just follow me anyhow, so you won’t need to do much. Just pull them to the side if you want to turn her that way, and pull back once to stop, keep pulling to back her up. Got that?”

She nodded and took a deep breath. He went around the corner and had grabbed two hats. He handed her a white straw one and he sat the black felt one on his head. “This is my ma’s - you will want it to keep the sun out of your eyes.

She accepted it and plopped it on her head. Ben mounted and then made a funny clicking sound...then Starlight moved.

At first, the sensation was weird and unsettling. But, true to Ben’s word, the horse was gentle. Rey relaxed and started to learn the motion of her gait.

“You want to hold your upper body up, but let your hips move with the horse. It’s strange at first, but it will be a lot more comfortable for you if you move with her instead of against her…”

Rey nodded and grinned. She liked it.

They made their way down the pasture and were heading up a small hill that looked out over the prairie where the cattle roamed. There was a sea of green grass turning golden, starting to succumb to the heat of the Texas sun.

They stopped at the top for a bit, then Ben grunted.

“Oh no...Rey...I gotta go take care of something. Star...stay now, ya hear?”

The mare snorted in response, and Ben leaned over the neck of Silencer and suddenly the black stallion took off. She watched them thunder across the grass, farther and farther out until he was closing in on a fence. He crouched lower and Rey watched in amazement as the horse jumped the fence.

She wasn’t sure what was happening, but at the same time, she saw Ben take the rope from his saddle and start circling it over his head at the same time she saw a lone calf starting to bolt. She watched as he expertly roped the calf and halted its escape.

Slowly, it started walking back towards the horse and rider. Ben jumped down and led it back through the fence, repositioning the board that had come loose and securing it in place. He gathered back up the rope and swung back on his horse, then loped out a bit before turning and nudging the horse back to a run and a jump back over the fence.

He trotted back to her and tried not to chuckle at her mouth agape.

“Sorry...duty calls.”

“That...that was amazing. How did you do that?”

He made that clicking sound again and the horses started their walk again. “I grew up here...until I was a teenager. I’ve always been more of a country boy than a city boy. Before the business took off, Pa just worked the ranch. They were simpler...happier times. Once he got in the oil business...that is when he was gone so much. I would escape out here as much as I could. The manager runs this all now, but they leave the house for us.”

She was processing all that he just said. “Did you say...you said that your dad is in oil? As in...Falcon oil?”

His mouth set in a grim line. “Yep...that’s it.”

“Han...Chewie’s friend...that is your dad?”

He looked out to the horizon. “He is.”

She was stunned. She heard what Pastor Kenobi had said about his parents, but it didn’t register until now.

“But...but...that makes you…” she stammered.

“Makes me what?”

She thought about Mr. Solo’s expensive cars and generous tips. She thought about his Broadacres address. She gulped. She had no idea. Ben’s car was nice...but…

His voice deepened a bit. “Makes me what, Rey.”

“It makes you even better off I can’t date you. Han Solo’s son can’t be seen with…”

“Whoa!” he called and halted the horses.

“Did you just really say that? As if I care about any of that?” He asked incredulously.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, “but you know it’s true, Ben. I would be a shame to you...and your family. We shouldn’t even be seen around town toge…”

“Stop it,” he said firmly. He didn’t yell, but she could see the same emotion seething under the surface from the night before.

“I just got back, Rey...from unimaginable battlegrounds where farmer’s and senator’s sons died just the same, side by side. I watched a sharecropper drag the body of his friend, a Harvard finance major, and save his life. I don’t care a damn about society, or what is expected, or who your family is.”

His voice turned softer. “All I care about it who you, are...Rey. And so far, I see a kind, feisty, Christian woman who loves her friends and gives a listening ear to lonely strangers. I decide who I keep company with...not the town gossips, my family, or anyone else. Do you hear?”

Her eyes were wide with shock.

He laughed nervously. “Before I left...I wasn't any better than the lot of them. But over there...it changed me. War is no respecter of class or rank. I learned that valor doesn’t care about your pedigree. I think that is part of why I can’t stomach being in town. I have no patience for all of that now.”

“I’m sorry, B….”

“No...don't you apologize. I’m sorry if it came out strong. I just want you to understand where I sit. You are the first person who has just listened to me. You have no expectations of me, and I felt at ease with you from the start.”

“I’m glad, Ben.”

“Everyone else has ideas...what they want me to do or be.”

“What do you want?” she asked softly.

He paused, thinking for a few moments. “I’m not entirely sure...but I’m pretty sure it’s not to be a lawyer.”

They rode the rest of the way in silence.


	5. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Ben hatch a plan to get Rey to be honest with herself...

“Rey...you have been seeing him for months...you are dating him!” Rose insisted on lazy Saturday morning at home.

She shook her head vehemently. “No, Rose...truly we are just friends.”

Rose considered her with her hand on her hip, trying to make sense of Rey and Ben’s relationship.

“Has he kissed you?”

“Rose!” she hissed. “Of course not!”

“And...you would tell me?”

“If there was something to tell...but there isn’t and there won’t be.”

Rose stopped pushing then. She knew what Rey’s convictions were, but she also had several occasions to observe Ben when he thought no one was looking. She saw how smitten he was with Rey...and how unaware of it she seemed.

“OK, Rey-Rey. I believe you.”

They spent most nights together, though. Tonight it would be a movie. They were going to see Three Little Girls in Blue. Ben was always feeling up to what she wanted. It was this or a western, and she was more interested in the lighthearted musical.

“Why do women always want to snare a rich husband? That doesn’t mean it will be a happy marriage.”

“No...it doesn’t. I guess there is no guarantee of happiness anyhow...so they figure they might as well have money?”

“Hmmm…” she responded.

“Anyway...what do you care. You aren’t getting married, right?”

“Right. I’m just curious, I guess.”

He cleared his throat. “My mother keeps trying to get me to date someone...Cora Williams.”

“Ohhh? Are you going to?” Her voice had raised an octave.

He shrugs his shoulders, hands in his pockets. “Maybe.”

Rey grew quiet. He could see her biting her lip, and he tried not to smirk.

“You still up for riding Sunday?” he asked nonchalantly.

“Huh?” She seemed to be lost in thought.

“Out to the ranch...riding?” It had become a habit for him to go to church with her and then head out to the ranch. He had even had a few appointments with Pastor Kenobi.

“Oh...yes...sure,” she said, distractedly.

Ben dropped her back off at home. She got quiet when he mentioned Cora. Maybe there was hope after all?

_______________________________

With Rey’s reaction after the movies Thursday night, Ben decided that maybe a little pressure would break Rey of her ridiculous rule.

That is how he found himself at the movies with Cora Williams the next night when he knew Rey would be there with her friends.

At least, that is what Rose thought might happen when she met him for coffee Friday morning.

“I think you are a good guy, Ben. But that Rey...she is going to be a tough nut to crack.”

He was staring at his coffee mug, his thumb swiping along the lip. “I know.”

Rose leaned in and whispered, “You don’t know what it was like for her, Ben. At school...kids were always calling her trash, telling her she was going to be a whore like her mama.”

His hands squeezed his mug so tight, he thought it might snap.

“But she has always been so smart...and determined. She had to drop out of high school for a bit after she left home, but then she got the job at Chewie’s a few weeks later, and he insisted they could work out a schedule so she could finish. She slept in the office there at the shop for a few months...until we all graduated and Paige and I could move out with her.”

“She was my first friend, besides my sister, and I love her dearly. But, I want to lop her upside the head about all of this. She is scared to death of anything that looks like she’d be turning into Qi’ra.”

His heart clenched, seething over the hard life his sweet Rey had up to this point. He wanted to protect her from it...rescue her from it.

“What do you suggest I do?”

“Well...for one, she has to know that intentions to date her are honorable. You would have to be a perfect gentleman. Not that you aren’t, but even more so. If you ever got her to court you, she would have to know that.”

He nodded, “My mama raised me, right, Miss Rose. I would never push Rey to do something against her virtue.”

She nodded. “I figured...but good. But, the bigger challenge is how you get her to let go of the no dating rule. It would have to be something that would push her out of it…”

He cleared his throat. “Ah...last night, I mentioned that my parents want me to take out Cora Williams. That seemed to bother her…”

Rose’s eyes lit up. “Ohhhh...Ben! That is perfect. Jealousy! If she knew you were out with her….or even better….saw you out with her...that might do the trick.”

Ben grimaced. “But to do that...I would have to actually take that girl out…”

Rose winced and patted his hand across the table. “I know...she’s horrible. But either way, you won’t have to ask her out again. You can satisfy your parents with one date, telling them it didn’t work out. And, at the same time, you can spike a little jealousy in Rey. It’s a win-win for you...except for the few hours you will spend on your date.”

So he found himself walking to the ticket window that night with the petite blonde prattling on about something nonsensical while he feigned interest.

“Can you believe she said that to me?” she pouted.

“I can’t right say that I do, Miss Cora,” he drawled.

He held the door open to the theater lobby, and his eyes instantly found the group of three girls inside. Rose eyes had been searching the doors and instantly saw him enter.

“Ben!” she called out and waived.

The other two girls turned to greet him as well. Rey’s smile was warm on his face….then faltered as she looked down next to him.

“Miss Paige, Miss Rose...Miss Rey. It’s good to see you. Do you know my date...Miss Cora Williams?”

Rey’s eyes flew back to his, questions swirling in them. She then looked to Cora.

“We have met...nice to see you again, Cora.”

The other girls murmured half-hearted greetings.

“I wish I could say the same. I’m hungry...can we get some popcorn Ben?” she gazed back up at him, her eyelashes fluttering.

It took all the good manners Leia had drilled into him to not grab her arm and march her outside to give her a piece of his mind. Instead, he tightly said, “Sure. You ladies have a good night.”

Instead, he walked over to the concession stand and flinched when he felt her take his arm.

He breathed a sigh of relief when the movie started and he knew he had a 2-hour hiatus from her gossipy drivel.

When he dropped her off at home a half hour after that, she had tried to encourage another date.

“Miss Cora...thank you for a most...insightful evening. But I’m afraid I have learned we would not be compatible in the slightest. I wish you well,” he said as kindly as possible.

"Well...I never..." she huffed as she stormed out of the car.

He exhaled a huge sigh of relief.

He hoped it was worth it.

_________________________

Tears nipped around the edges of Rey’s eyes for most of the movie. Thankfully, it was a dramatic one with several scenes that warranted tears, though she seldom shed any in movies. Tonight...though...tonight was different.

Her heart ached and her stomach felt hollow, seeing Ben with that girl.

Her Ben.

Wait...not her Ben. She had her policy…

And right now, she was floundering to remember why exactly.

Sure, she didn’t want to end up like her mama. But the kind of men Qi’ra always had around...and who Ben was….there was a night and day difference.

He was kind and gentle...and strong. He listened to her, laughed with her...even cried with her on occasion.

And once or twice she had seen something crop up in his eyes...something that said he wanted more, but she ignored it and pushed it aside.

And now...now it seemed she had pushed too hard. And she lost him. Even worse...to a beautiful, rich, cold girl like Cora.

She didn’t deserve him.

But...maybe Rey didn’t either. She had pushed him away. And, at least Cora ran in the same social circles. She was his kind.

Except she wasn’t.

And all the popcorn in the world couldn’t satisfy the ache in the pit of Rey’s stomach.

____________________________

They were eating eggs together the next morning. Paige had left for a day at the lake with Poe, and it was just the two of them around the table.

“You are awfully quiet this morning, Rey. Last night too. You aren’t coming down with something...are you?”

She pushed her eggs around on her plate, her appetite wan...and Rey was always hungry.

“I’m fine...Rose...really.”

“You might be fooling yourself over there, Rey...but not me. In fact, I would venture to say you have been acting like this since we ran into Ben.”

At the sound of his name, her fork clanked to her plate, and she dropped her head in her hands, sobbing.

Rose was surprised at the immediate response and jumped up to console her.

“There now, Rey-Rey. I didn’t know you were this upset.”

“B-b-but...seeing him there...with her...it just...just…”

Rose hugged her close. She had it much worse than she thought. “But...I thought you were just friends?” Rose said gently.

Rey just cried in response.

Finally, Rey pulled back, and Rose handed her a handkerchief.

“I mean...of course he is free. We are just friends. But...it...it hurt to see him there with her…” she groaned softly.

Rose sat down next to her and pushed her hair behind her ear. “It sounds to me like you are in love with him, Rey.”

Her eyes flew to Rose’s face in horror. “What? No...I can’t be...this can’t happen…”

Rose was at a frustrating loss about how to get her out of this ridiculous rut she was in. Suddenly, a divine inspiration struck.

“Rey...do you believe what Pastor Kenobi says...about how in Christ we are new creations? The old is gone...the new is come?”

“Of course I do.”

Rose took her hand in hers and lifted Rey’s chin to look her in the eye. “Then when are you going to believe that applies to you?”

“I do…”

Rose emphatically shook her head. “No...no you don’t, Rey. You are so scared of repeating your mama’s mistakes, you are shackling your life so some sort of prison in penance for her sins.”

She got closer, looked her in the eye, and raised her voice to be firm. “You are not Qi’ra, Rey. You are that new creation...and if you don’t believe that, you are calling the Lord a liar. And Ben is nowhere near the kind of man that keeps her company. He is honorable, and decent...he would never hurt you like that. You aren’t being fair to him...or to yourself.”

Rey’s eyes slid shut, recognizing the truth in Rose’s words as she blew her nose again.

“It’s...it’s too late now.”

Rose shook her head again. “No...no I don’t think it is. I see how he looks at you, Rey. Like you hung the moon. Talk to him...give him a chance. You are going to the ranch tomorrow...right? Like always?”

She nodded.

“Talk to him...be honest.”

She looked up at her with eyes welled with tears again. “Are you sure, Rose?”

Rose reached up and wiped a tear from her eye with her thumb. “I can honestly say I have never been surer of anything in my life.”


	6. New Creation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I may not be able to post as much tomorrow...so I'm adding another tonight. It's a good one too...Rey gets brave!
> 
> Be sure to click on "Subscribe" so you get update notifications!

The horses were walking along the ridge, their hooves plonking on the grass the only consistent sound.

“You OK, Rey? You are mighty quiet today.”

“I...I am just thinking about something...something Rose said.”

He turned so she wouldn’t see his grin, not that she was looking at him anyway. She hadn’t made eye contact with him since he got to the church that morning. He figured she was mad...but she didn’t seem mad. Just contemplative.

“Did you...I mean...your date...did you enjoy it?”

He snorted. “Not even a little bit.”

“Why?” her brow was furrowed in confusion. “I mean...Cora is beautiful...and she’s part of your social circle...your parents like her.”

She barely had time to hear his “whoa” stopping the horses before he had jumped down and was walking to her and offering his hand to help her down. She clasped her gloved hand in his and allowed him to help her. His hands at her waist left as soon as her feet hit the ground.

She looked up and saw they were by the pond on their property. It was one of her favorite spots, surrounded by wildflowers and populated with ducks.

He motioned for her to come sit down.

Once they were seated, he whipped off his hat and held it in his large hands, fastening his eyes onto her as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ll make you a deal, Rey. You tell me why you have been so quiet all morning, and I’ll tell you why I didn’t enjoy my date.”

She gulped and looked to the ducks as if for help. They had none to offer.

She closed her eyes, willing herself to have the courage to do what she needed to do.

“What would you do...how would you fix it if you realized you had made a mistake?” Her voice was so timid...not like Rey.

“I suppose it depends on what kind of mistake it was. Usually, though, making amends...being honest.”

Her eyes were open now, trained on her lap. “Even if it’s hard...the hardest thing you have ever done?”

He wanted so badly to reach out to her and gather her in his arms. But he stayed still.

“Even so. That is usually when the amends mean the most,” he replied softly.

“But I’m scared, Ben.” Her voice was barely even a whisper.

“You can tell me anything...you know that, Rey,” he reassured her.

She started fiddling with the grass between them. “I...I didn’t enjoy your date either.”

Sheer joy washed over him, and he longed to shout, but he bit it back and instead asked, “Why?”

“I don’t know…”

“Mmmm...I think you do, Rey,” He coaxed her...his voice tender.

It was the tears dripping down on her jeans that did him in.

She looked up at him, her heart shimmering in her eyes. “I know why...but I am afraid to say it.”

He reached up and cupped her chin, his thumb wiping away the tears starting to escape.

“I promised you a response...if you answered. How about I give you my why...then you can see if that helps?”

She nodded.

His thumb grazed her cheek now, and he just murmured, “It’s because she wasn’t you.”

Her eyes slid shut, the tears streaming down now as she leaned into his hand.

He had taken all he could take. He gathered her in his arms and cradled her against his chest as she wept.

“There’s no one for me but you, Rey...just you.”

At that, she wrapped her arms around his torso, clinging to him like her life depended on it.

She had never felt safe...or cared for...or loved as she did at this moment.

Ben leaned over and kissed the top of her head, nuzzling her soft hair against his nose.

“B-b-but...I don’t…”

He sighed. “I know, you don’t date. Dating is what you do to get to know someone...to see if they might be someone special. I already know you, Rey. I don’t want to date you. I want to court you. I want you to understand my intentions serious, and honorable.”

“What does that mean? Courting?” she sniffled.

“It’s a relationship with the intent to marry, Rey. Not just to have fun on a whim. I think I fell in love with you that first day that I saw you. I had never seen anything so beautiful and fierce as you were when your head popped up after working on my car. You are so easy for me to talk to. You are the first person I want to tell anything to. I know there won’t be anyone else for me...for all my life.”

“Me…me neither, Ben. But...married?”

He held her closer and chuckled. “I don’t mean tomorrow or anything. I just want you to know...what I feel for you is special and real. You aren’t Qi’ra...and I’m not those men just looking to see what they could get out of her.”

Her hands were drawn up under her chin, and now they were fidgeting with the button on his shirt. “I know you aren’t...and I’m not. I...I just need to take things slow. Nothing physical.”

“Is this OK? Me holding you like this?”

She nodded.

“Hugs?”

“Yes.”

“How about holding your hand? Or my arm around you?”

“That is OK too...just no kissing or anything for now...OK?”

“Mmmmn hmmmm,” he murmured into her hair. “Do you mean anywhere, or are your hand and forehead fair game.

“Those places would be OK...but not on the lips...for now...”

If this was all she was ever comfortable with...it would be enough for him.

Just having her would be enough.

______________________________

Truly, admitting their feelings didn’t change all that much. They still did many of the things they always did...Ben was just a whole lot more affectionate while they did it.

An arm around her in the theater. Holding hands while strolling on a walk. Hugging her spontaneously. A kiss on her forehead goodnight.

Rose was almost impossible to live with, though. “I told you, Rey…”

She would remind her of that almost daily, and Rey would always respond by rolling her eyes.

The truth was...she knew Rose was right. She was right about all of it. She was happy in a way she never thought she could be. Her hard life seemed to want to warn her that it couldn’t last, but she did her best to ignore that voice.

Ben was everything he had promised. He was careful and respectful of her...and it only made her love him more.

She hadn’t told him yet, though...that she loved him.

She wasn’t sure how...or when...but soon she would.

____________________________

As fall drew near to a close, the days got shorter.

In late November, they were out at the ranch for their typical afternoon. After riding, they had an early supper picnic lunch, but before they were done, the sky grew dark and the moon rose bright and clear.

They were laying on their backs on the quilt he had brought out the picnic, talking about everything and nothing at all.

“I’ve been meeting with Pastor Kenobi,” he confessed. “We’ve been talking...about the war...and other life things...”

She turned her head to look at him. When he met her gaze, he could swear that all of the constellations were dancing in her eyes.

“Is that helping you?”

“He is easy to talk to...and he understands. I feel less angry about it...I suppose that is an improvement.”

That was all he offered, and she learned it was best to let him reveal as he felt he could. She didn’t push.

She reached out and brushed his hair out of his eyes before turning to gaze back up at the moon. “The moon tonight...it reminds me of a poem I read in school. I think it goes,  
‘A Lover's Moon soars clear and bright, guiding true love throughout the night. But a Liar's Moon lurks misty and gray, scheming to drive true love away.’”

She looked back over at him. “I...I don’t really believe in all that--that the sky guides love or decides liars. But it reminds me..."

She swallowed and took a deep breath. "I keep wanting to say it, Ben...but the words always feel stuck in my throat.”

She took his hand, like he had done many times with hers, and kissed his fingers.

“But I want you to know...I love you, Ben. I love you so much.”

He closed his eyes and pulled her hand up to his face and sank his head into it.

His eyes opened.

“I...I want you to go to the Christmas dance with me.”

She blinked...confused. She had finally told him...and that is what he said?

“Oh...well, of course I’ll go. I’m sure Paige has something I can wear…”

He nodded. “I...I better take you back, now. It’s getting late.”

They packed up, and he was quiet. Rey tried not to feel confused...or hurt. He held her hand in the car...but he stayed quiet and just murmured a gentle goodnight when he dropped her off.

She told Rose what happened.

“Huh...that is weird. But...we are talking about Ben. You lost your heart to one that isn’t really known for expressing himself, Rey-Rey.”

She sighed in exasperation. “I know...but he has before...even told me he loved me before. I don’t know what to make of it. I finally get the words out, and he just asks me to the dance and tells me it’s time to go home?”

She flopped on her bed to punctuate her frustration.

“I’m sure there is an explanation, Rey. Be patient with him.”

Rey rolled onto her side and her fingers worried at the yarn on the quilt topping her bed. “What if...what if I have misunderstood him? What if I scared him off? What if he changed his mind? This is why dating was a bad idea!” she groaned.

Rose wasn’t sure what to say. She was just as confused as Rey was by Ben’s behavior, but she knew he was smitten with her and it didn’t make sense.

___________________________________

She huffed down onto the booth Ben was waiting for her in and hissed loudly, “You have some explaining to do, Solo!”

He looked around, then shushed her. “Rose, hush now. This is a private matter.”

She just glared at him. “You have that girl worried sick that she made a mistake and you don’t really love her. She’s as nervous as a pig at Easter.”

He sunk his head in his hands. “I...I just didn’t know how to say anything back without gushing it all out.”

“Well…’I love you too' might have been a good start.”

“I’ve told her that…”

“I kind of think she needed to hear it again...in that moment.”

“But when she said it, all I wanted to do was ask her to marry me and kiss her.”

Rose’s eyes got huge. “WHAT?” she squealed.

“Rose...hush now…”

She obeyed and lowered her voice several decibels. “Marry her...why didn’t you say something?”

He rubbed his eyes in frustration. “I don’t know...it just didn’t seem like the right moment. I want it to be special, not an afterthought reaction to her finally declaring she loves me.”

“So...what are you going to do?”

“Well, for starters, I was hoping you could help me buy a dress for her...for the dance. I was hoping to ask her that night.”

Rose smacked her forehead with her palm. “Now it all makes sense...you responding by asking her to the dance...that really didn’t seem rational without that important piece of information.”

“Yeah...well, I can’t exactly explain that to her now. She’ll just have to be...confused for a few more weeks. I’ll try to reassure her and do some fence-mending in the meantime…”

He looked up and saw tears in the woman’s eyes. “Rose...you ok?”

“You...you want to marry her. My Rey. Rey who has always felt alone, unwanted and abandoned...you want her. I don’t know if you will ever understand how much that means to me, Ben Solo. I will help you any way I can.”


	7. Asking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My babies...

True to his word, Ben had managed to pull it together and act normal. He even came up with a plausible excuse for his behavior that night.

 

“Sweetheart...I’m sorry. You just overwhelmed me...finally saying it. I...you know it’s hard for me to talk about things. I love you so much. Really...I do.”

 

And as they settled back into their rhythm together, she became convinced in the truth of his words.

 

A storm kept them from the ranch one weekend, so they stayed in town and made dinner with the Tico sisters instead. Ben surprised them with his cooking abilities.

 

“Where did you learn to do that?” Rey asked, mouth watering over the steaks, mashed potatoes and sauteed green beans he was making.

 

He smiled. “It’s a combination of our cook Hannah and the Army. I liked it...finding ways to make it easier on my men when we had the chance to eat better. I did better than the scrub cook they assigned to KP, and it helped it feel more like home for them.

 

They played a tournament of checkers, with Paige and Ben playing in the final round. Paige won...and Rey was sure Ben let her even though he played it off like he didn’t.

 

The next week, Ben met Rose at lunch again to go shopping at Foley’s for a dress. He would have rather gone to Neiman Marcus in Dallas, but it would take too long.

 

Rose wrinkled her nose at most of it, but oohed and ahhed over a simple style in soft white. It had a satin underdress that was strapless with a sweetheart neckline, then the overdress of embroidered lace with a mandarin collar and cap sleeves. To cap it off, it had a crimson velvet ribbon belt around the waist.

 

“Ben,” she breathed, “she will look like a Christmas angel in this!”

 

He had the salesgirl help them pick out matching white kid pumps, gloves, clip pearl earrings, and a crimson clutch. Since it was December, he added a camel wool coat as well. He wasn’t even sure if she had a proper coat for winter.

 

When the girl delicately inquired if the young lady had the appropriate undergarments to go with the dress style, Ben flushed and turned on his heel to let Rose deal with it.

 

It was all packed and wrapped in a box. Rose promised to hide it in her closet until it was time to reveal the gift to Rey.

 

He did not take Rose on a separate trip to the jewelry store and didn’t ask her to help him pick out the platinum solitaire ring flanked by delicate leaves on each side. No...he did not.

 

He had already trusted Rose with a lot and had her help...but this he had to do by himself. It was from him...from his heart, and he had to pick it alone.

 

When Rey got home from work the Friday night before the dance, the box was sitting on her bed.

 

“What is this?” she yelled from her room.

 

Rose stood beaming in the doorway, feigning innocence. “Maybe you should open it and find out.”

 

She did, then stood there with her hand clasped over her mouth.

 

“I...I can’t...he shouldn’t have…”

 

“Well...he did...and I helped him….weeks ago.”

 

“But Rose...it’s too much!”

 

“It’s not too much, Rey. Not at all. In fact, if anything, you deserve so much more.”

 

Rey pulled it all out, laying it carefully on the bed. When she got to the bag at the bottom with the strapless bra and the panties in it….

 

“Oh...I picked those out...not him. He had no idea what was in that bag.”  


She blushed, then looked back over on her bed. “It’s...its just the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Rose…”

 

Rose sighed. “It...it is, and you are going to look so beautiful! Now...I thought we could do your hair like this….”

 

___________________________

 

Ben arrived at 6:00 pm sharp the next night to collect her. She heard him come to the door, and she stood looking in her mirror and fidgeting.

 

Rose had left her hair down in loose curls, parted on the side. The wider side of the part was caught back in a rhinestone comb. They added red lipstick for the occasion, but that was all. Rey saw her eyes shining as she took in the lovely dress that even smelled good.

 

She inhaled deeply and walked out to the living area.

 

She had never seen Ben in a tux...or even a suit for that matter. Her breath caught at how handsome he was.

 

“Wow...Rey...just...wow. You look…” he stammered.

 

She smiled that big, sunshiney grin up at him. “You look especially handsome, Ben.”

 

His mouth still hung open. He just didn’t have words.

 

Rose handed him her coat. “You two kids have fun!” she said in a sing-song voice as she pushed them out the door.

 

_______________________

 

He parked at the country club and turned off the car.

 

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart...you just took my breath away, and all my words with it. I have never seen anyone or anything as beautiful as you...I just couldn’t…”

 

She reached over and took his hand. “It’s OK, Ben...I understand. Are...are you ready to go?”

 

He nodded and scrambled out of the car to come and open her door. Once he helped her out, he tucked her hand in his arm.

 

“Are you ready for this?” he asked.

 

She looked a bit nervous when he looked down at her. “I...I think so.”

 

They entered the club and checked her coat. He had arranged for a table for two so they didn’t have to make conversation with others.

 

“My parents will be here, he leaned down and whispered to her. “I’d like for you to meet them.”

 

She nodded shyly.

 

“Dance first?” he asked.

 

They dropped her purse at the table and headed out to the floor.

 

“I’m not very good at this, Ben. I’ve never been to a dance...just played at it with Rose and Paige at home.”

 

He chuckled. “Trust me...I’ve had enough lessons for the both of us. Just follow my lead...I’ll help you.”

 

And he did. There were a few missteps with her hitting his toes instead of the dance floor, but after a song or two she got the hang of it and started enjoying it. After five, he took her arm and led her back to the table.

 

“It’s time to eat,” he explained.

 

They proceeded to have the most delicious meal Rey had ever had. She wasn’t even sure what all of it was, but she ate every bite, including the chocolate mousse for dessert.

 

“I can’t believe I didn’t spill anything on this dress,” she whispered to him conspiratorially

 

He laughed and told her about a time he had a mishap with his dress uniform before the general came through. They were laughing pretty heartily when the older couple stopped by.

 

“Well...you two seem to be having a good time.”

 

Ben looked up and stood. “Ma...Pa...yes. I’d like to introduce you to my date...Rey. Rey...these are my parents, Han and Leia.”

 

Rey stood and offered her hand first to Leia, who she liked instantly. Ben got his warm brown eyes from her. It surprised her how short she was, though. How had this tiny woman had big Ben?

 

When she turned her eyes to Han, he was more reserved in his friendliness. She recognized the echoes of Ben’s features and height in him.

 

“Rey...what is your last name, Rey?” he asked as he shook her hand.

 

“Johnson, sir,” she replied.

 

“Huh...any relation to…”

 

Rey recognized the look in Han’s eyes, and she straightened her back taller and lifted her chin. “Qi’ra is my mom...yes, sir.”

 

Han’s face paled, and he murmured excuses to pull Leia away. Leia politely said it was nice to meet her, and told Ben to bring her around so they could get to know her better.

 

Rey felt like she had been slapped in the face. It had been a while since someone had that kind of reaction to her. Her relationship with Ben had almost convinced her it was in the past.

 

She felt Ben’s arm come around her waist, and his forehead connected with the side of her head.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

 

She swallowed the lump in her throat and pasted on a bright smile like she always did. “It’s fine, Ben...really...let’s dance some more.”

 

And they did a few more songs, her food like a heavy stone in her stomach. Finally, he put his arm around her shoulders and led her from the floor.

 

“Ben…what are you doing with her?”

 

They turned and saw Cora standing there with Hux. His arm tightened around Rey. He didn’t want to stop for this.  

 

“Nice to see you again, Cora. Hux. I don’t think I need to explain myself to you, though, Cora.”

 

He didn’t even wait for a response, but just led Rey to collect her purse and coat, then took her back out to the car.

 

When they were inside, he pounded the steering wheel and muffled a curse.

 

“They have no right, Rey...no right…”

 

“Ben...my love...really, I am used to…”

 

“I don’t care what you are used to. Those are my parents...and that was one of the most horrifying things I’ve seen them do. And...trust me...I have a lot of material to consider…”

 

She took a deep breath and looked out into the night. “Please...please Ben. Don’t let them ruin this night...this beautiful night you have given me.”

 

He grimaced at her words and looked over at her, with all the hope of the world in her eyes. He let out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

 

“You’re right, Sweetheart...you are right. Besides, I have somewhere else I want to take you.”

 

She smiled and started asking him teasing questions to lighten the mood.

 

“Horseback riding?”

 

“Swimming?”

 

“Spelunking?”

 

“What in the world is spelunking?” he asked with a laugh.

 

“Cave exploring.”

 

“Where did you learn that?”

 

“I can read, Ben Solo,” she said dryly.

 

Finally, he parked at their destination...the fairgrounds.

 

“What are we doing here, Ben? It’s closed...there is nothing here.”

 

Nothing, that is, except the trail of lanterns he had arranged.

 

She giggled as he led her along the path. When they stopped, she recognized the bench where they had sat and talked those months ago while they waited for their friends.

 

“Just about five months ago, you sat here with me and talked to me...do you remember that?” he asked.

 

She nodded.

 

“I think maybe that night in some way I knew...knew I had fallen for you. You were beautiful and feisty...but also kind and such a good listener. I have always struggled to talk to people, and the words just seem to fall out around you.”

 

“Then...when you told me you don’t date...you just about ruined me. But, I thought if I was persistent enough...maybe...just maybe I could get you to come around.”

 

“Then...Rose and I plotted that Cora date…”

 

“Wait...what? Rose was in on that?” The surprise was all over her face.

 

“Yeah...we thought...well, we figured if you had any chance of changing your mind, the big guns would be needed.”

 

She laughed her sweet, tinkling laugh. “Well...I guess it worked.”

 

He grinned down at her. “It was the worst night, but it was worth it.”

 

Then he started back down his mental path. “Then...that day a few weeks ago...when you told me you loved me...I froze. I didn’t want all that I wanted to say to run out when I wasn’t ready for it. I wanted it to be special.”

 

He reached down and took her hand, “Rey...I want to spend the rest of my days with you. Please...please say you will marry me.”

 

She looked up into those melting eyes she had come to adore, and all she saw was a new story and hope. No matter her past...Ben was her future.

 

She leaned over and softly brought her lips to his, brushing them gently before whispering against them, “Yes, Ben...I will marry you.”

 

He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her back...just a bit firmer. He had waited so long to feel her lips on his, he just sat there for a minute, relishing the contact with no movement. He finally broke it, he dropped his hands and reached into his pocket. He pulled out the box and opened it.

 

“This...this made me think of you when I saw it. The brightness of it, like your smile, and the leaves made me think about all the Sundays we have spent at the ranch…”

 

“Oh...Ben...it’s...I’ve never seen something so fine! I...I don’t know if I can wear it.”

 

“You can, Rey...it’s meant for you.”

 

He slipped it on her finger...a perfect fit.

 

She looked at her hand in disbelief, and back at him.

 

“When...Ben...when will we have the wedding?”

 

“I’m not sure...maybe spring? I need to talk to my parents. I told them I’m not going to law school, but we’ll need Ma’s help to plan…”

 

“Ben Solo...I don’t need a big fancy wedding. Just you.”

 

He chuckled. “Well...Ma never had a girl of her own, so I don’t think she’s going to let me get away without something…”

 

He leaned down again and claimed her lips, giddy that he could.

 

“C’mon...it’s getting late...and cold...and Rose will kill me if you don’t get home soon to tell her all about this…”

 

He didn’t add that having his ring on her finger did things to him, and he wasn’t sure he could trust himself right now.

 

She was almost his...forever…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ring: https://claudemorady.com/shop/vintage-old-european-cut-diamond-1940-ring/


	8. Telling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everyone is excited about their news...alternate plans are made...
> 
> A bit of a shorter chapter...but don't worry! The next one is coming soon! 
> 
> Sidenote: hidden U2 lyric...tell me if you find it!

Rose was climbing the walls with excitement. His parents...more specifically...his dad, was not.

 

“Pa...I don’t care what you say. I’m a grown man, and I know my heart. You don’t get a voice in this.”

 

Han looked strange...desperate even.

 

“You cannot…”

 

“Is this because of her ma? Because her mother is the town trollop, that makes her unfit to be your daughter-in-law...is that it?” he yelled.

 

“Ben,” Leia pled. “Can you...can both of you, just take a step back…”

 

“Leia...I cannot allow this.”

 

She was staring at him, confusion spilling out of her. But, she was trying to referee a war between the two people she loved most, and there wasn’t time to ask questions. Yet.

 

Ben stood there with his back to them. “I...I need some air. I’m going to stay at Poe’s.”

 

He left to storm up the stairs.

 

“Han...I don’t know what has gotten into you. How..how could you do this? And...you...coming from your background...of all people, how could you not give her a chance?”

 

“Leia…” he warned.

 

“She threw her hands up in the air. “Fine...just, fine. When you are ready to give me a decent answer, you can come back...from the guest room.”

 

She stormed up, almost identical to their son’s exit moments before.

 

Hand turned back to the fireplace...heart in his gut. He couldn’t allow this.

 

____________________________________

 

He heard the knock on the door. He didn’t have to open it to know who was there.

 

“Ma...I know what you are going to say. But...I’m a grown man now. I can’t let him decide my life for me, no matter what his opinions.”

 

“I...I know, son. I’m on your side about this, for the record. She seems like a lovely girl. I’ll talk to him...we will iron this out.”

 

“I’ve never seen him react like this...it’s...I don’t think he’s going to get over this.”

 

He kept packing, grabbing some toiletries, then shutting his suitcase.

 

“I’m going to stay there for a few days.”

 

She nodded, wordlessly hugged him, kissed him on the cheek, and left the room. There wasn’t anything else left to say.

 

____________________________

 

Poe got home late after taking his date home. And, if his tie and hair were disheveled when he came in, Ben didn’t say anything.

 

He told him the whole story, and Poe sat stunned.

 

“It just doesn’t seem like your Pa, Ben. I agree with you...he’s not going to get past this.”

 

“I know…”

 

“You know...you know what I think?”

 

“Oh...this should be good. Poe and his wisdom on love…”

 

“I think that you should elope.”

 

Ben turned sharply. “ _What?_ ”

 

“You know...runoff...get married...live your happily ever after without waiting for Han Solo’s permission.”

 

“You’re...you’re serious.”

 

“Do you love her?”

 

Ben sat down on the couch, head in his hands. “More than I thought I ever could...so much it hurts, and I want to damage anyone that has hurt her...my father included.”

 

“Then...I don’t think you have any options. If you stick around and wait for approval you will never get, it’s just going to hurt her more. Take her away from all of this...give yourselves a new beginning. You don’t know, man...you don’t know what she has been through...she deserves this... _you_ deserve this…”

 

Ben sat there quietly for a moment, taking it all in. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this...but I think you are right. But...where would we go?”

 

“So...here’s what you’ll do. Monday, you’ll head down to the bank and clean out your account. Tell her to be ready to go after work. I’ll go talk to Pastor Kenobi...he can marry you on your way out of town. I have a friend that works in the oil fields in Mississippi...he just wrote me and told me they are hiring. With your experience, it’s a no-brainer. Then…”

 

By the time Ben was falling asleep in Poe’s couch that night, the plan was solid in his mind. Now...just to get Rey to agree.

 

________________________

 

“WHAT?”

 

They were on their Sunday ride. He had spilled the details of the plan to her. But she was struggling…

 

“Why...why can’t we just wait for him to calm down?”

 

“Because he won’t, Rey. Trust me...I know him. But I am a grown man, that fought down Hitler’s armies...I will not let him tell me what I can or cannot do.”

 

He stopped the horses and leaned over and took her hand. “I don’t want to wait...I want to marry you. I think if we do this and stay away for a while, he will have to accept it and eventually we can come back. But if we stay...he will never be OK with this, and it will make our lives miserable.”

 

“I...I just wish there was a different way.”

 

“I do too, Rey...I do too. But...there isn’t. I want to start our lives together...and this is the best way...I’m sure of it...even if it started with Poe’s idea…”

 

She giggled at that, then turned serious. “Ok...Ben Solo...I will run off and marry you. Just...please...can Rose be there?”

 

“Of course...Rose and Poe can be our witnesses.”

 

“I have some money saved...I can help too.”

 

“I think we will be fine. I have my savings and all my army earnings. It will keep us afloat for a while, even if I can’t find a job. We will make it work. I don’t care if we have to live in a tent...as long as it’s with you, I will be a rich man.”

 

He reached up and caressed her cheek. “I’ve learned that life is too short and precious...we have to hold onto love...I won’t let you go.”

 


	9. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awhhh...

Rey barely kept it together at work the next day. She wished she could tell Chewie. She wrote him a letter that Rose would deliver when they were gone. He had just been so good to her...but she couldn’t risk him telling Mr. Solo.

 

She was all packed, so when she got home, she threw in the last few items and put on her dress from the dance.

 

Rose was weepy. “I had no idea when I pick this out that I was choosing your wedding dress!” she wailed.

 

“You did an excellent job, Rose. I will always remember your fine dress choice.”

 

She left to find a hankie. “Poe’s here...are you ready, Rey?”

 

She nodded, taking one last look at her little room. Her first place of independence.

 

“Oh,” Rose stepped back in the room. “Just so you know...there’s a little something from Paige and me in there...for your honeymoon…”

 

Rose wiggled her eyebrows up and down, and Rey flushed as she bent to pick up her suitcase.

 

Poe was at the door and whistled when he saw her. “Wow, beautiful. Let’s go get you married.

 

_______________________________

 

Pastor Kenobi is all too willing to help out the couple. When Ben shared what happened, he couldn’t imagine anyone treating his sweet parishioner Rey that way.

 

It was downright sinful.

 

He nodded to Miss Agnes who started playing the wedding march on the piano. Ben, Poe, and Rose were waiting with him at the stage while Rey started walking down the aisle. She carried the red rose bouquet Ben had gotten for her.

 

They never looked at him, the whole time he led them through their vows. And when he announced them as man and wife and told Ben he could greet his bride, his heart clenched at the joy of their young love.

 

He waved as they drove off into the sunset, praying blessings over what would surely be a bittersweet start. They would have each other...but that was all.

 

But...he was sure it would be enough...he felt it in his bones that they were meant for each other.

 

They drove as far as Lake Charles the first night. Ben wanted to get across the state line, and he had found a sweet inn on the lake. The clerk showed them to their room with a big bed and their own bathroom with a claw foot tub.

 

When they were alone, finally, the weight of what they were doing hit him.

 

“Rey...we don’t have to…”

 

“Ben…”

 

“I mean it...we can just…”

 

She walked towards him and gazed up at his face. “We can just what?”

 

“I...I can just hold you. We don’t have to do anything else.”

 

She smiled at him. “A bath...I’d like to take a bath.”

 

She went and got a few things out of her suitcase, then went into the bathroom and shut the door.

 

Ben got out his map book, studying the route to get the rest of the way to Jackson. He was reading about various points of interest when he heard the water shut off.

 

___________________________

 

Rey sank into the water, letting it creep up all the way to her neck. She looked again across the room and giggled.

 

The present from the girls kept catching her eye. It was a white nightgown and robe set in satin and lace. It reminded Rey of something a movie star would wear.

 

She wasn’t sure if Ben would survive her walking in the room in it...but she couldn’t wait to find out.

 

She was never as sure of anything as she was of Ben Solo.

 

_____________________________

 

He had moved on to other cities in Mississippi when he heard the knob on the bathroom door turn. He was sitting in the chair at the window that faced away from it.

 

“I figured out a few more places we can stop tomorrow...it should only be four or five hours…”

 

“Oh?” she said.

 

When he didn’t turn around, she cleared her throat.

 

“You OK Rey? You aren’t catching something, are you…”

 

That was the moment when he finally turned to look at her...and that was when the bottom dropped out of the world as he knew it.

 

She was like...like a goddess and an angel all rolled up in one. He didn’t feel worthy to look at her...let alone touch her…

 

“Do you like it?” she asked. “The girls got it for me.”

 

“D-d-d-d-do I like it?” he stuttered.

 

She smiled and walked towards him. He took a half a step back, uncertain.

 

She reached out and grabbed his hand. He pulled it into his chest, and she could feel his heartbeat wildly echoing in his chest.

 

“It’s just strange...to try to shut all those feelings down for so long...to try to be careful with you…”

 

“I know, Ben...and I love you for it. But now...now we are man and wife...in front of God and everyone. Its OK...this is OK now.”

 

To prove her point, she closed the gap between them and got on her tiptoes to kiss him. For just a moment, it was like all their other kisses...sweet...chaste….

 

But then...then it was like the dam broke in him. With a groan, he wrapped his arms around her and picked her up, pressing her tightly against him. And the kisses...they weren’t so chaste.

 

It took her breath away.

 

She had always known Ben was big and strong...and she knew he had been restrained with her. But she very quickly decided that this new side of him...this unrestrained, passionate man she quite liked.

 

She brought her hands up and ran them through his hair...longer than it was when she first met him.

 

That earned her another groan. He bent down to scoop her up in his arms and started walking them towards the bed, then finally broke his scorching lips from hers. The way he was holding her, they were looking eye to eye, both struggling to take a deep breath.

 

“Are you sure, Rey. If...if this starts...I don’t know if I will be able to stop. I need to hear you say it you are sure.”

 

She looked him right in the eye. “I’ve never been surer of anything in all my life. I want you, Ben Solo. I’m yours.”

 

He gently sat her down on the bed, then kneeled down next to her, taking her hands in his and resting his head against them in her lap. He just sat there for a moment, breathing deep before looking up at her.

 

“I love you, Rey Solo.”

 

“And I love you...Ben.”

 

That was all he needed. He caught her lips again in a heated kiss, and slowly raised up and pushed her back, lowering himself over her.

 

He finally felt like he was home.

 

____________________________

 

The next morning, she woke first.

 

She looked at the sun falling over Ben’s face. He was often so serious, but asleep he looked so peaceful and young.

 

She thought back over the night before, and for the first time, she half understood her mama. If what she experienced was even a fraction of what she did…

 

...well…

 

...Rey was glad she didn’t know better until now, or she might have made the same mistakes.

 

But somehow, she doubted that was Qi’ra’s experience.

 

Part of what made it so amazing...besides the obvious...was that it was Ben. Her Ben. That it was all happening, covered by love made it pure and right.

 

She wondered how someone could do that without love and a commitment. It felt confusing to her.

 

She snuggled closer to him and knew in her heart she would never have to find out. That was her last thought as she drifted back to sleep.

 

_______________________

 

Ben’s eyes fluttered open. He could hardly believe what he saw...what he felt...

 

...what he remembered.

 

Involuntarily, his hands tightened his hold on her. He couldn’t believe she was finally there in his arms. Naked...

 

Have mercy.

 

What he felt for her...it was indescribable. He felt like he would do anything to hear that laugh, see that sun-competing smile...to protect her.

 

The worries of what was to come threatened to crowd in his mind, but he pushed it aside. For now, he would savor the moment. They had time to worry about the future later.

 

He bent down to kiss her forehead. He used to long for more when he did that...but there was something sweet and whole about doing it now.

 

She was stirring now, her breaths coming in bigger puffs against his chest.

 

“Good morning, Sweetheart…” he murmured against her forehead.

 

“Mmmm...I fell back asleep,” she whimpered.

 

“This is your honeymoon...you can sleep all you want.”

 

Her stomach growled. She looked down at it and then took in their current state. She giggled and burrowed her face in his chest.

 

“Ben...we are naked...and it’s ok.”

 

“Mmmm-hmmm…and you are hungry”

 

She giggled again.

 

“Are you...are you OK, Sweetheart?”

 

“I’m better than OK...I am amazing...you are amazing... _that_ was amazing…

 

He leaned back so he could see her face and brushed the hair out of her eyes. “You are so beautiful...how am I such a lucky man?”

 

She answered with a kiss. A slow, deep, lazy kiss.

 

He rolled onto his back in response, laying her out on top of him.

 

She shifted and deepened the kiss.

 

When she pulled back, he drawled, “I thought you were hungry.”

 

She bent down and kissed him again. “I am,” she said, her voice husky.


	10. New Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newlyweds...
> 
> Don't forget to click subscribe to get updates! There might be more coming tonight!
> 
> FYI: I am on radio silence with comments right now and am moderating them to keep some of you who want to guess about what I'm up to from putting it out there for others to see! So...feel free to speculate...I will be the only one to see it for now! ;)

They were on the road and finally fed. Ben couldn’t help the smile that kept tugging at his cheeks.

 

“What?” she asked, her tone teasing.

 

“Nothing...well...something. OK...I just never would have guessed…”

 

“Never would have guessed what, Ben.”

 

“That it would be like that.”

 

He was trying to keep his eyes on the road...but then she cocked that eyebrow at him questioning his thoughts.

 

“I mean...I didn’t know it would be like that at all...but then you...after all these months of…”

 

All the taunt was gone from her voice, and it turned honeyed. “Do you mean...you haven’t before?”

 

“Rey...I have done things in my life I’m not proud of...but when it comes to that, you have been and will be the only one. That is how I was raised.”

 

She grinned. “Really?”

 

“Of course...did you think...that I had?”

 

She shrugged. “I wasn’t sure. I guess I didn’t want to ask and find out. I had hoped…”

 

He took her hand and brought it to his lips. “Are you nervous? About starting all over again somewhere else?”

 

“No...if anything, I am excited. To be able to go and only have people know me as I am now, and your wife. No Qi’ra...no baggage...just us.”

 

He nodded. “I think that was one of the things I liked about the Army. I had to prove my own worth. I wasn’t the son or grandson of anyone important...just Ben. I liked that. This is going to be a good thing for us, Sweetheart.”

 

She nodded, looking out at the landscape. The plains of Texas were turning into the marshes of Louisiana. It was cold outside, but one of those cold, crisp days that felt magical.

 

They got into town just after lunch. Ben asked for directions to the duplexes Poe had given him the address for. His cousin said it would be a good place for them to land until they got settled...even came furnished.

 

Ben walked around to get her out of the car and they walked up to the manager’s office hand in hand.

 

It turned out that a unit had just vacated the week before, and they had just finished the clean-up on it. Unit 2B would be their home for a while.

 

They paid the deposit and signed the paperwork, and the manager handed them the key. Ben drove down the few driveways to park in their carport.

 

“C’mon, babydoll. I’ll get the bags later.”

 

She squealed when he scooped her up, opened the door while holding her with one hand, and carried her across the threshold.

 

“Welcome home, Mrs. Solo.” His voice was husky, and he followed it up with a deep kiss.

 

He set her down and playfully smacked her behind before heading to the car to get their luggage. She started to look around. It was clean and plain. The kitchen was small but adequate, the dining set appeared new, and the living room had a couch and chair. The bathroom was spotless, and the bedroom had a new mattress. She couldn’t believe this was all theirs...just the two of them.

 

He found her in there. “We’ll need to head to the store to get sheets, towels, and the rest...and to the bank to deposit my funds. I don’t want to keep that here.”

 

They quickly ate the sandwiches the inn had packed for them that morning and headed the department store the manager had recommended. Rey had never had so many new things. A small set of dishes, pans, silverware, towels, sheets, blankets. When the cashier had given him the total, she saw for the first time just how big of a deposit he had to make. She gulped.

 

He saw her eyes on him.

 

“We have enough to be comfortable for a long while, Rey, but I plan to get work right away. That’s why I want to deposit it, though. It’s dangerous to have this much cash….and a cashier’s check.”

 

She nodded. Their next stop was the bank, then to the grocery store.

 

By the time they got home and put things away, and made a simple meal, Rey was spent. It had been a long day.

 

They were sitting on the couch, talking a bit about their plans for the rest of the week, and she felt her eyelids fluttering. Before she knew it, she felt him heft her up in his arms and carry her to their room.

 

He set her gently down and started unbuttoning her dress. She started to wake up, not sure what his intention was. Before she could think too much about it, he had grabbed one of her flannel pajama sets from her suitcase and started dressing her for bed.

 

He steered her to the bathroom to brush her teeth while he left to get dressed for bed himself.

 

His intentions were clear when they were tucked in their new bed and he tucked her in his arms and under his chin.

 

“Goodnight, Sweetheart. Sweet dreams.”

 

________________________

 

When Ben woke her up the next morning kissing her stomach, however, his intentions seemed quite different. She felt his laugh rumble across her skin as he said, “Good morning, Sweetheart. A bit less tired now?”

 

She realized he had already unbuttoned her shirt most of the way, and his large, warm hand was ghosting the skin across her ribs, just brushing the underside of…

 

“I made an executive decision that we are going to be on our honeymoon the next few days...and I only plan to let you out of this bed to eat…”

 

...he punctuated that with a searing kiss on her bottom rib…

 

“...use the restroom…”

 

...another hot kiss to her sternum…

 

“...and bathe….preferably with me.”

 

“Ben!” she squealed. This was...quite a different side of him than she was used to...but she liked it.

 

“Hmmmm?” he hummed as his lips sank down into her neck.

 

“Wha...what has gotten into you?” She really tried to make her voice sound normal...but it sounded more breathless than she thought it would. Especially once she realized that in addition to waking earlier than her, he had also already shed his pajamas.

 

“You...Sweetheart...you. You woke the monster, Rey.”

 

“You...you are a monster?” she asked cheekily.

 

His lips on the crook of her neck and shoulder vibrated into her skin, “Yes I am…”

 

_____________________________

 

The next day he was holding her, both of them in lazy bliss.

 

“I think Monday I will head to the oil company office.”

 

She turned to look at him. “What kind of job are you thinking of?”

 

He sighed. “Well...Poe said this company likes to start everyone off in the field first. But, with my degree and working for Pa...something else should open up. I figure we can stay here for a year or so and see what happens. Then we can decide from there what is next? If we like it, we can stay. If not...we can go.”

 

“Where else would we go?” she asked. She had never thought about leaving Houston, let along moving around.

 

He shrugged. “I hear there is lots of oil work, and other stuff, in California. Lots of people are moving out there after the war, and houses being built. They say the weather is pretty nice…”

 

“California?” she breathed. That was so far but sounded interesting. “You mean, like by Hollywood?”

 

“Maybe. You think that sounds nice? You want to be a movie star?” he teased.

 

She snorted. “Not hardly! Well...let's see how Mississippi treats us first before we go running off to California!”

 

He got quiet and tugged her closer. “Are you...I mean...do you have any regrets? Do you wish we had stayed?”

 

She turned so she could look up at him. "I miss Rose and Paige...and Chewie...but not enough to make me regret this. I belong with you, Ben. This is all new...and I’m a little nervous...but I’m not sorry.”

 

He gave her that lopsided grin of his. “Good...because I think this is the best decision I have ever made in my whole life. I love you so much, Sweetheart. I’m so glad I have you...it’s just us now.”

 

She snuggled in. It felt like being Ben’s wife was going to be as easy as breathing for her. After the rough journey she had so far, it felt too good to be true.

 

“It would be nice, though...to see the ocean. I never have. I dream about it sometimes...and an island…”


	11. New Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone new comes into Rey's life.
> 
> My grandpa was a paratrooper in WWII, and I just had the chance to visit Normandy last year. What those men...teenagers move of them...did is amazing. 82nd Airborne--All American, All the Way!

“REY!” Ben called out as stormed back into the house Monday afternoon.

 

She had been lining the shelves in the kitchen with paper, and the rukus he made caused her to hit her head on the top of the cupboard she was working on.

 

She crawled out, rubbing her head. She saw his expression change.

 

“Babydoll...did I make you do that?” He gathered her in his arms and gently kissed the top of her head.

 

“You...you just startled me is all. How did it go?”

 

He grinned. “Well...I am going to be in the fields at first, but due to my experience back home and my education, you are looking at the newest day foreman at Union Oil. The manager said there might be a production manager position opening up in a few months he thought I’d be a ringer for too.”

 

She gasped, bump on her head forgotten, and jumped up to throw her arms around his neck and clasp her legs around his waist. He caught her and held her tight, enjoying having her at his level to kiss her.

 

“Mrs. Solo…” he said, his voice low and velvety between kisses, “I think this is cause for celebration, don’t you?”

 

“Oh...I think so,” he voice quivered out.

 

He set her on the counter and looked over at the window. “I guess it’s a good thing I got our curtains all installed over the weekend then…”

 

____________________

 

The job was vacant, so Ben started right away the next day. He left before she got up, and was due to be home around 5:00.

 

She laid in their cozy bed, enjoying the warmth. Mississippi was warmer than Texas was, but it was still chilly in the winter.  She realized just how much Ben kept her warm when he was there.

 

She decided to get up and make some tea. As she watched the flames lick the bottom of her new tea kettle, she started ruminating on what the new home meant for her.

 

Should she look for a job?

 

She knew she really didn’t need to. They still had a lot in savings, and Ben’s job paid well.

 

But...what would she do?  


She didn’t really know much about keeping house...or cooking. Maybe there were some books or something she could read?

 

She made a quick breakfast of eggs and orange juice, then decided to get dressed and explore outside their little apartment. She flushed a bit when she remembered _why_ she hadn’t been out much...and then it made her heart ache a bit as she missed Ben.

 

They had been married for a week...and it was just like a dream. Just thinking about him made her stomach quiver and knees a bit wobbly.

 

She grabbed her key and set out.

 

There were about twelve duplex units in the complex. Each one had a carport and a little yard of grass in front of the door. She saw a mom with a toddler a way down. Next door was quiet and seemed empty. Maybe they worked?

 

A few doors down she saw an older woman putting out her laundry. She needed to do so...and she wasn’t sure where the facilities. Determined, she made her way over.

 

“Excuse me...ma’am?” she called out.

 

The woman turned to look at her. Her silver hair was pulled up in a top knot, and her clear blue eyes were kind.

 

“Yes...my dear. What can I do for you?”

 

“I...I am Rey. My...my husband and I just moved in...and I was wondering if you could point me towards the laundry facility?

 

“Rey….lovely to meet you. I am Sabine. Where did y’all move from?”

 

“Houston...ma’am.”

 

“Please...call me Sabine dear. Houston...are you newlyweds?”  


Rey beamed. “Yes...just married a week today.”

 

Sabine clapped her hands. “How wonderful. Congratulations!”

 

“Thank you, ma’am….I mean, Sabine.”

 

The older woman tucked her arm in hers and peppered her with questions as she took her to a utility room around the corner with several machines.

 

“Have you used this kind before?” she asked.

 

“Yes - there was a laundromat down the street from my old apartment with my friends. Now...if there was only a cooking school…”

 

Sabine turned and looked her in the eye. “Rey...didn’t your mama teach you to cook?”

 

Rey swallowed hard, remembering again all she had left behind. “My mama wasn’t the...homemaking type. I’m afraid she didn’t teach me much that I can use in a reputable woman’s life.”

 

Sabine’s eyes got round, then softened in compassion.

 

“I’ll tell you what...why don’t you come over and I can help you.”

 

Rey’s heart lifted at the thought but then worried. “I...I don’t want to be a bother, Sabine…”

 

“Nonsense. You would be giving me something to do. My life has been lonely since my Fred died last year...I would like to have something to do...and the company.”

 

“Could...could I at least pay you?”

 

Her eyes narrowed at Rey, and her tone turned steely. “You trying to offend me?”

 

Rey blushed and stammered. “No ma….Sabine. I meant no offense!”

 

“Well...friends don’t pay friends. I can help you take care of that husband of yours, and you can keep a lonely old woman company. Deal?”

 

Rey broke out in a soft smile. “Deal.”

 

__________________________

 

“Are you sure I’m doing this right?” Rey tried to blow a strand of hair off her forehead but just succeeded in stirring up a cloud of flour in front of her eyes instead.

 

Sabine giggled. “I...I think you need to add more flour to the board, dear.”

 

“More flour? I’m covered!” she exclaimed.

 

“Well...yes...but the dough isn’t. It shouldn’t stick to your hands quite like that!

 

Rey couldn’t stop the sigh.

 

“Just think about how nice it will be to surprise Ben with fresh bread at dinner tonight,” Sabine taunted.

 

It was the right thing to say. Rey floured the dough and then renewed her job kneading it with vigor. Finally, it was ready to add to the loaf pan and pop in her oven.

 

__________________________

 

Ben came home a few minutes after 5. She was running to throw herself in his arms...until she saw him.

 

She looked up at him and teased, “You get in a fight with an oil pump?”

 

His white teeth stood out on his oil smudged face. “Kind of? We had a little incident…”

 

She couldn’t stop the giggle from spilling out over her lips. “I’d say so...you want to wash up before dinner?”  


He stooped down to kiss her, careful not to touch her anywhere else. “I think that would be best. Give me 10 minutes?”

 

She nodded and watched him walk down the hall to the bathroom. She noticed he had taken his shoes off outside. She went to the pantry and grabbed a newspaper to set on the entry linoleum to set his boots on so they didn’t freeze overnight.

 

She turned the oven off and pulled out the pot roast Sabine had helped her cook. It smelled good enough to eat. She was pretty pleased with herself, considering Rose had done all the cooking and she hadn’t made dinner like this before.

 

She heard the water shut off and walked down the hall. Steam was pouring out of the bathroom.

 

“How was your first day? Besides the mishap?”

 

He opened the shower curtain and stepped out with his towel slung low on his hips.

 

“Well, darlin’...if I knew you wanted to join me, I would have left the water on.”

 

She giggled and shook her head. “Oh no, Ben Solo. I’ve worked hard on dinner...and I’m not letting it get cold. You are going to have to put your lovey eyes and wandering hands away until after dinner.”

 

His head shot up. “You made dinner?”

 

She nodded, pleased as punch. “I’ll tell you about it while we eat...get dressed.”

 

She went and waited for him at the table, not trusting him to get dressed if she stayed there. When he finally came down the hall, he smiled as he smelled what was waiting for him.

 

“You did this?” he asked again incredulously after he said grace.

 

“Well...I made a friend today. A lovely woman named Sabine. She is a widow, and it seems like she was looking for a project. My lack of homemaking skills actually excites her. She is teaching me to cook, sew…”

 

“Is...is she nice?”

 

She nodded and sighed. “She is, Ben. It’s the first time I have felt comfortable around an older woman like that. She is kind...and….oh...I almost forgot the bread!”

 

She jumped up to grab the bread and butter.

 

“You made bread? Rey...that is hard to do.”

 

“Tell me about it…” she deadpanned.

 

“I’m proud of you, Sweetheart...and I’m glad you found a friend and something to do while I’m gone all day. It will help me feel better...knowing you aren’t alone.”

 

“I am excited...I have a lot to learn. I can take care of our car...but that’s about it. Now...tell me about your day. Did you like it?”

 

He shrugged. “It’s work...I know how to do it. It’s not earth-shattering. I like leading the men, though. When I was in the Army, I learned I liked that. I think I will like to be a manager...off the field...someday…”

 

“I think you can do anything you put your mind to, Ben.”

 

He covered her hand with his. “With you helping me...I think I could too. You make me feel like I could fly, Rey.” He leaned over and kissed her softly.

 

She grinned and pulled back. “Hurry up and eat now, Solo, so you can kiss me properly.”

 

His voice dropped an octave. “Just kiss you?”

 

She raised her eyebrow and teased, “I guess it depends on if you clean your plate…”

 

___________________________

 

After two weeks, Rey got the hang of cooking. It really was about following directions, and she could usually do that pretty well. She copied Sabine’s recipe cards and carefully filled her own box.

 

“Rey...if you don’t mind me asking...would you tell me more about when you grew up? I...I can tell it wasn’t happy...but are you...are you OK?”

 

She sighed. Usually, after lunch, they just turned to talking.

 

“Well...to put it plainly, Sabine, my mama was a woman of ill repute. I...I did not have good growing up years. I usually had to take care of her...or myself. She drank a lot, and there were always men around. Or...she was just gone. I...I never have known who my daddy was. She got a boyfriend when I turned 16, Mr. Plutt...who was just awful. He...he acted improperly towards me. I left home a while later and lived on my own. That was over three years ago. Then I met Ben.”

 

“How did y’all meet?”

 

“Through friends...at the fair. I was dead set on no dating...so he just became my friend. I think I loved him from the start, but I just couldn’t get my mama and not becoming like her out of my head. I never drank and didn’t ever intend to date or marry. But Ben...loving Ben has come as natural as breathing. He stayed my friend as long as I insisted, and never pushed me. He’s my best friend...and one day I realized I wanted more.”

 

Sabine sighed. “How romantic. I think that is the best way...to be friends. Fred and I had almost 40 years together. They were good years because our romance was built on friendship.”

 

“Sabine...do you have kids?”

 

Her eyes fell. “Just one...a boy. Jack was such a good boy. He was going to be a teacher...until the war.” Her voice fell off and her eyes misted up.

 

Rey’s heart clenched. “Oh...I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine. Ben...Ben was in the war...a paratrooper.”

 

Sabine nodded, a tear trickling down her cheek, but her voice was steady. “Jack was in the infantry...he was...he was at Normandy.”

 

Rey winced inside. She had read about that horrible battle on the beaches of France.

 

“He was a hero, Sabine. His sacrifice...it saved the world.”

 

She nodded. “I know...thank you. Fred had been slowing down the last few years. When we got the news of Jack’s death...it just pushed him over the edge.”

 

“Tell me about him?”

 

Sabine’s eyes grew soft and she smiled. “He was...he was a good man. Quiet, but solid. He grew up on a farm…”


	12. New Things to Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends...I just want to let you know that today is going to be a hard day. I am sorry...but that is how it must be for the story to move forward. But...Sunday is a-comin'!

So far, Rey had only made some potholders, a shower curtain, and an apron. They were all pretty simple. Sabine thought her skills had grown where she could try something new.

 

“A what? Are...are you sure? That seems...complicated.”

 

She took Rey to the fabric store in town. They picked out a pattern and a light blue chambray fabric.

 

“I’m sure. You can do this...I will help you. Besides, just think how surprised your handsome hubby will be with a new shirt?”

 

Rey giggled and thought about how working at the oil company the last few weeks had enhanced his already large frame. “We might need extra fabric.”

 

“Maybe grab one of his shirts we can compare the pattern too, just in case?” Then, Sabine winked at her. “That is a mighty fine mountain of a man you have there, Rey.”

 

“Sabine!”

 

“Well honey, you gotta appreciate what you’ve got. And he is large. I didn’t think he was going to fit under my sink last week when he came to help me with that dripping pipe.”

 

Rey sighed and felt the familiar flutter she felt when she thought of her husband.

 

“I don’t know how I caught that man...but I’m grateful every day that I did.”

 

Sabine laughed and looked at the clerk waiting for them. “Three yards should do it…”

 

_________________________________________

 

At the end of the week, Rey was anxiously awaiting Ben getting home. He had two whole days off...and she had a surprise for him.

 

He had told her they were going out to eat, so she was dressed and ready for him when he got home, a little package sitting next to her on the couch.

 

He didn’t look too dirty today, so she jumped up to kiss him. He did so cautiously...holding his hands out.

 

“You look beautiful...let me get cleaned up and I can kiss you proper.”

 

He showered in record time and was dressed and back out in the living room.

 

“So...I made you something.” She held out the tissue-wrapped package.

 

“You...you made this...for me?” he asked, stunned.

 

She eagerly nodded. “Open it!”

 

He gave her a lazy smile as he tore open the present. His eyes were serious as he took in her work.

 

“Do...do you not like it? I know it’s kind of strange...without a collar...but Sabine said I’m a ways off from mastering that. You can just wear it around the house…”

 

He cut her off with a kiss that took her breath away. When he broke away, he pulled her into his arms.

 

“No one,” he swallowed hard, “no one has ever made anything for me, Rey. I love it and will wear it proudly.

 

She relaxed and wrapped her arms around his waist. “You do...really?”  


“I really do. In fact...I’m going to change into it right now.”

 

He did, and they left the house beaming. He wanted to get a steak, so they went to Lou’s on Main Street.

 

After they placed their order, he took her hands. “Rey...I have some good news. Even though it’s only been a month, They are moving me to the production manager next week.”

 

“Ben...that is great! And so soon! Are you excited?”

 

He nodded. “I love working with the men, but not out in the fields. This will give me a larger group to work with too and more say in their work and benefits. Of course, the extra pay is nice. My manager figured out I’m Han Solo’s son too, so I think they are going to get secrets from the competition with me there.”

 

She got quiet at that. “Do...do you think we will ever go back?”

 

He shrugged. “I can’t say for sure for always, but I don’t see that happening for a long time.”

 

“I’m proud of you Ben...really.”

 

“I feel like good things are on the horizon for us, Rey. I feel it in my bones.”

 

____________________________________

 

Rose went to talk to Pastor Kenobi after the service. When she was right in front of him, he whispered down to her, “Have you heard from Rey?”

 

She nodded conspiratorially. “I have...they are in Jackson, Mississippi. Ben is working for an oil refinery, and she is learning to sew and cook.”

 

Pastor Kenobi laughed out loud at that. “I can’t picture her doing those things...only working under the hood of a car.”  

 

Rose laughed. “I know...that is what I thought. I guess married life has domesticated her.”

 

His eyes got serious. “Is she...do you think she is happy?”

 

Rose nodded, “She misses us...but she sounds very happy. This was the right move for them...it was for the best.”

 

_________________________________

 

About two months after Ben’s promotion, Rey realized something was different in her body. She was late for her period, and she felt tired. She confessed what she was thinking to Sabine.

 

Sabine, in turn, marched her to the doctor.

 

The doctor confirmed what the ladies already knew.

 

She was waiting patiently now for him to return home, wringing her hands. She wasn’t sure what he was going to think They hadn’t really talked about kids. But...they were quite fond of the process that created them, so he had to know it could happen...right?

 

_________________________________

 

After he showered, they sat to have dinner.

 

“Rey...baby...you are getting really good at the cooking thing. This is really yummy.”

 

She nodded absentmindedly while she picked around her plate half-heartedly.

 

He turned his gaze to her, and his brow furrowed. He dropped his fork.  “Are...are you OK?”

 

“Huh? Oh...right...well...yes...mostly…”

 

“Mostly?”

 

“Well...I have something to tell you, but I’m not sure you are going to like it.”

 

He finished chewing the bite in his mouth, then studied her face. He decided to help her along. He wasn’t sure she would ever spit out what she was thinking if he didn’t.

 

“Did you...go shopping? Spend too much money?”

 

“Nooo….”

 

“Iron a hole in my shirt?”

 

“What? Well...I might have singed one a bit, but that isn’t what this is about.”

 

“Killed someone?” he asked, eyebrows wiggling up and down?

 

She snort-laughed at that suggestion. “Not today…”

 

His face grew serious. “Then what...Rey. You can tell me anything.”

 

She took a deep breath. “I…I...I’m pregnant.”

 

Her eyes sank shut and her head dropped down. She heard him shifting next to her, but was surprised to hear his voice so close. She opened her eyes, and he was on his knees next to her, eyes warm and liquidy.

 

“Are...are you sure?”

 

She nodded, feeling tears pooling in her eyes. “I know...I know we haven’t talked about this...and the timing might not be right...but…”

 

He silenced her with a kiss, then laid his head against her chest. “I think this is the most wonderful surprise I have ever had.”

 

A nervous giggle erupted from her chest as her hands laced through his hair. “You aren’t...disappointed?”

 

He lifted his head and gazed up at her, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I assure you, my love...quite the opposite. I want a family with you, Rey...I want it all. This is wonderful news.”

 

She nodded at his words, then lost her ability to speak as she flung herself down to bury her face in his chest. The force knocked him down, and he just laid there on the carpet, holding his weeping, giggling wife to his chest.

 

___________________________

 

They had spent the rest of the weekend talking about the baby. What if it was a girl. What would they name it? What would she be like? And if it was a boy...would he have Ben’s hair and her eyes?

 

Ben made her breakfast in bed and snuggled her close. He made love to her carefully and softly, worried all the while about the baby.

 

“Is...are you sure this is ok?”

 

“I’m sure.”

 

“We won’t...we won’t hurt it?”

 

She traced a finger down the scar on the right side of his face. “We won’t...I promise.”

 

___________________________

 

“Are you sure you feel OK?”

 

She sighed. He had been hovering over her like a mother hen all weekend. She loved it...after having to take care of herself her whole life, to have Ben fawning all over her was lovely.

 

“Really, Ben. I am tired...but that is all. The doctor said I might feel nauseous, but I really don’t. I’m fine.

 

“You’ll tell me...if you aren’t?”

 

“Of course I will...you don’t need to worry.”

 

“I can’t help it, Rey. It’s my job...to take care of both of you and make sure nothing happens to you.”

 

“I’m fine...I promise.”


	13. Troubling News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again....remember....hard day...but the sun will come...
> 
> The tags have also been updated.

Rey got a call from the doctor on Thursday of the next week. He asked if she could come in.

 

Sabine drove her over. He had said the week before that he didn’t need to see her for a month so that he asked her to come back seemed strange. She tried not to worry.

 

Sabine squeezed her hand after they parked. “It’s going to be OK, Rey.”

 

The nurse called her back. Instead of leading her to an exam room, she took her to the doctor’s office.

 

She folded her hands in her lap and tried not to be nervous. She took in the pictures of Dr. Brown and his family, and his degrees on the wall. Finally, he entered and sat behind his desk with a sigh.

 

“Mrs. Solo...I have never had to have a conversation like this. I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’ve had a call from your doctor back in Houston. We called to get your medical records…”

 

_______________________  


_Houston_

 

Han girded himself for the conversation he had hoped he never had to have...but secretly had counted down the days of its imminence. He again berated himself. He was so foolish...and one bad mistake was punishing his family over and over again...and they didn’t even know it.

 

He swirled the glass in his hand, watching the amber liquid form a twirling funnel in the middle.

 

His head shot up when he heard Leia come in the door. He wished he didn’t have to tell her...he wished he didn’t have anything to tell.

 

He sighed and decided not to delay it any longer. He needed to face whatever was to come.

 

“Leia,” he called to her, his voice cracking on the second syllable.

 

She appeared in the doorway of his office, an unspoken question on her face.

 

“I...I need to talk to you. Can you come in here?”

 

The lines on her forehead v’d in concern. “Are you OK Han?”

 

He took a drink and then set the glass down. “No...not really. I need to tell you something...something I should have told you a long time ago.”

 

She slowly shook her head. “Han...you are scaring me…are you...are you sick?”

 

He exhaled deeply. “I almost wish I was.”

 

He reached over and took her hand. “Do you remember all those years ago...when we separated when Ben was 5?”

 

Her eyes grew more confused. “Yes….”

 

“When you left and took Ben back to the farm for those months, I was so broken. One night Chewie took me to Nick’s bar to drown my sorrows. I drank...a lot...so much I don’t remember much about the night.” He sighed again. “What I do remember, though, was that when I woke up the next morning, I wasn’t alone.”

 

He saw Leia’s eyes wince in pain. “Who?” she asked, her voice gravelly.

 

His eyes sank to his hands, which were now shaking. “It...it was Qi’ra Johnson…”

 

Leia’s eyes sank closed and hot tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

“I swear, Leia...I don’t remember anything...I don’t even know how I could have done anything in that state...but she said we did.”

 

She sniffled, trying desperately to swallow the lump in her throat. “Why...why are you telling me this now after all these years?”

 

TIme to rip off the rest of the bandaid.

 

“Because...a few weeks later, she came to me and told me that she was pregnant...from me.”

 

Leia’s eyes grew huge as saucers, and understanding dawned. “Rey,” she said quietly.

 

He nodded. “That’s why I was so opposed to the kids...I was hoping to have time, but they ran off…and now...”

 

Her eyes were growing colder by the minute. “And now what, Han?”  


“And now...now Dr. Baker said he’s heard from Rey’s doctor. They are living in Jackson, Mississippi. And she’s pregnant. I think you understand why this just can’t….”

 

She stood up suddenly. “I...I think you need to go.”

 

She ran out of the room, and he heard their bedroom door slam.

 

At that sound, it was like all the form of his spine left him. He just slumped in the chair, unable to hold himself up. He had ruined everything. The hot tears fell from his eyes as he watched the fire.

 

He mourned for his wife.

 

He mourned for his son.

 

He mourned his...for Rey.

 

__________________________

 

Ben got the call at work. Something was wrong with Rey.

 

It was almost 4:00 and his manager said he should go.

 

He raced home, but she wasn’t there.

 

He stepped back outside, and he saw Sabine at her door, waving him over.

 

“Where...is she...OK? The baby?”

 

Sabine just shook her head. “She’s resting in my guest room. She has been so upset...but couldn’t tell me why. She finally passed out from sheer exhaustion. I don’t know what the doctor said...but you might need to prepare yourself, son. I can’t have been good.”  


He nodded and stepped into her house. She showed him down the hall, and he sat gently on the bed next to Rey. He could see even in the dim light that her face was still puffy from crying, and her arms were wrapped protectively around her middle.

 

He softly brushed the hair from her forehead, and she stirred.

 

“Ben,” she whimpered.

 

“I’m here, Sweetheart...it’s going to be OK.”

 

She shook her head, fresh tears in her eyes. “It’s not, Ben.”

 

He took her hand in his. “It is, Rey. We can try again…”

 

She shook her head more vehemently and started crying in earnest.

 

“N-n-n-no...you don’t understand, Ben.”

 

He just held her hand, rubbing it in soothing circles, willing his motions to calm her.

 

“Can you tell me...from the beginning?”

 

She nodded and hiccuped. “The...the doctor asked me to come in. They took me to his office...said he just wanted to talk to me. He came in and told me he talked to my doctor in Houston...Dr. Baker...and that Dr. Baker told him...he said…”

 

He drew her hand to his lips. “What, Sweetheart? Whatever it is...we can face it together.”

 

Her eyes slid closed, unable to look at him as the words passed through her lips. “He said Dr. Baker told him that we are kin...related.”

 

Ben felt like someone had slapped him. “What? That is ridiculous...that isn’t possible…”

 

“Ben...he said Dr. Baker told him that Han is my father.”

 

And there...that was the final punch. He felt as if someone had struck him.

 

He jumped up. “No...no...no...that can’t be true! It...it can’t be. They are lying, Rey. This is just a ploy...to get us to come back and break us apart.” He was yelling now, pacing the room.

 

“I thought so too, at first. But the longer I’ve thought about it...it makes sense. It explains why he was so dead set against us being together...and why Chewie took me in and was so kind to me…”

 

“I...I won’t believe this, Rey...they are lying. We need to go...go confront them. Make them answer for this.”

 

He rushed over to her, kneeling beside the bed. “I...I won’t lose you, Rey. I can’t. You are the air I breathe...I couldn’t even survive without you,” he wailed, his head in her lap.

 

She shushed him, her hands running through his hair. “Why...why don’t you take me home now, Ben. I’ve overstayed my welcome for poor Sabine...we can talk about this more at home.”

 

He wiped his eyes and stood. He gathered her up in his arms and started down the hall. Sabine was in the kitchen, stirring something on the stove. Her warm eyes turned to them with compassion.

 

“Y’all run on home now. I will follow you with this...I made you some soup. I’ll leave it on your stove simmering until you are ready.”

 

Ben gave her a curt nod, then walked out the door to their home. He didn’t even lock their front door earlier.

 

He set her gently down on the couch, then turned to see Sabine setting the pot down on the stove before walking back to the door.

 

“I don’t know all of what is wrong...and I don’t need to, Ben. But I believe this is going to be alright. Trust that, you hear?”

 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

 

_________________________

 

Later that night he was holding her in their bed. She had finally fallen asleep in his arms, but sleep would not come to him.

 

He was angry. Angry at his father and his unfaithfulness to them. Angry at Rey’s tramp mom. Angry at the circumstances that were beyond their control.

 

There was nothing they could do, now. He couldn’t lose her...he didn’t care what everyone said. They could move away...change their name...

 

Then he thought about the baby. He shuddered, thinking through what Rey said could happen to a baby that was from...what were they...half-siblings? Would it be ill? Deformed?

 

He groaned quietly and pulled her closer. His hand brushed near her inner thigh….and he felt something warm and wet.

 

He pulled his hand back to inspect it in the moonlight pouring in the window. Blood...it was blood.

 

He pulled up the sheet and gasped as he saw the small circle of blood on the sheets, framing her bottom.

 

“No,” he breathed. He froze in panic, then jumped to action. He got dressed quickly, shoving his feet into his loafers.

 

He went to her side and gathered her in his arms, grabbing a blanket to put over the top of her.

 

She stirred, moaning softly.

 

“It hurts...Ben...cramps…”

 

He kissed her forehead. “You are bleeding, Rey. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

 

He gasped as they headed out into the cold night. Once he got her safely settled, he ran to the driver side and tried to insert the key in the ignition as his hand shook.

 

He tried not to think about the last time he saw that much blood. Rey needed him, and he had to put those memories out of his head...this was no time for his battlefield nightmares to come back to haunt.

 

He drove as fast as possible in the night, checking her nervously with every noise she made.

 

“Hold on, Sweetheart...we are almost there.”

 

When he pulled up to the emergency room and carried her inside, the nurses took one look at the blood stains seeping through the blanket, and quickly took her from him on the gurney. They told him to wait down the hall.

 

He wandered down and sat in the chairs in the waiting room. He started to hold his head in his hands but then noticed that they were covered in blood...Rey’s blood.

 

He fought to keep control. Just because his brothers that he carried, broken and bloodied, back to their camp...just because they didn’t make it...that didn’t mean Rey…

 

It was too much. All he could do was weep.

 

________________________

 

Rey slowly woke...stirring stiffly in the hospital bed. She felt an ache in her groin, and the memories of the night before flooded back to her.

 

Her eyes adjusted to the light and the room. She saw Ben’s head next to her hip. He was bent over the hospital bed from the chair next to it, and his soft snores told her he was asleep.

 

She sank her fingers in his hair...just needing to feel him.

 

The nurse came in just then.

 

“Oh...you are awake. The doctor will be by shortly.”

 

Ben stirred, taking in a deep breath and rubbing his eyes. When he opened them after, his expression told her what her own mind had hoped...that it had been a bad dream...and then the realization that it wasn’t.

 

______________________________

 

Her doctor was there now. “We don’t know why it happens...but it often does. It doesn’t mean it will again. But in this case, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise? There is no telling what it might have had to go through…”

 

Ben watched the hurricane of emotion on his wife’s face. “Thank you, doctor. Could you...could you give us a moment?”

 

“Of course.”

 

He sat on the bed next to her and held her as she cried...they cried... for the baby that was not to be.


	14. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So...I have known, obviously, where this would all go from the beginning, but HOW it would happen for these two characters kept me stumped for a while. While this story is inspired by things, it is still my story from my ideation. I know today is hard...but stick with me and trust me! Read my other stories for some fluff you aren't getting here today. Force du Coeur got an Epilogue yesterday...it will give you the happy feels I am unapologetically keeping from you here. Remember...Sunday is a-comin'!

Leia didn’t know what to do. She felt ripped apart at the seams.

 

On the one hand, what happened with Han and Qi’ra was so long ago...and so much of their lives had happened since then…

 

But...he had lied to her. For years.

 

And now...now that lie was ruining their family. Ben would never come home...he would never forgive Han.

 

So, Leia did the only thing she could think of to do. Something she hadn’t done for a long time.

 

She went to church.

 

Well...not for a service. She went to see her old friend...the one she had named her son after. The one who had been a guide years ago when she found out the truth about her father...because he knew Anakin.

 

Pastor Kenobi’s eyes were somehow icy blue and warm at the same time. He sat patiently as the tears fell and she sat in silence.

 

He was good at waiting.

 

Finally, she looked up. “I...I understand that Ben came here...with Rey?”

 

He nodded.

 

“Do...do you know they ran off and eloped?”

 

He regarded her carefully, questioning what his response should be. “I...I did, Leia. I married them.”

 

Her mouth fell open in surprise.

 

“They wanted a wedding with all their family and friends there...but when Han responded like he did...well, they didn’t think that opportunity would come.”

 

Leia looked down at her hands. “Ben...I...oh it’s too horrible. I don’t know how to even…” and a sob wracked through her.

 

He gave her space for a moment before responding, a reassuring hand rubbing one of her arms where they were resting and holding her bowed head on the back of the pew.

 

“Leia...I have been hearing and guarding the secrets of people in this city for a long time. You don’t have to tell me anything...but believe me when I tell you that nothing would shock me. If you need to talk...I am a safe space.”

 

She let out a deep, wobbly breath. “I…I know that. I just haven’t said it out loud yet.”

 

He just watched and waited.

 

“So...Han has recently confessed that years ago, when we were separated, he apparently had a drunken fling with Qi’ra that he doesn’t even remember...and that Rey is his daughter.”

 

Ben inhaled sharply, disbelief clouding his features.

 

“Oh...Leia…”

 

“I know...and now, to make matters worse, Rey is pregnant.”

 

His panic gave way to skepticism as he considered her words. He rubbed his eyes before resting his chin in his palm.

 

“Can I ask..how does he know this?”

 

“Well...Qi’ra came to him…”

 

The wheels in Ben’s mind where turning. “Leia...tell me everything he said. I know it’s hard...but I want to help. To do that...I need to know what happened.”

 

“Well...I suppose you would have to talk to Han. He told me he got really drunk one night and doesn’t remember anything. He woke up in bed with her, and then a few weeks later she came to him and told him she was pregnant...that is all I know.”

 

“Do the kids know?”

 

She nodded, and the tears started afresh. “That is how this all came to light. Dr. Baker knew, I guess, and when her Dr. called for her records...he told him.”

 

“Have you talked to them?”

 

“Nnno...no. We don’t know how to contact them.”

 

“Ok...give me a few days, OK? I know there is more about this you need to talk through, but I need to talk to someone first. Can I come to see you and Han in two days? Around dinner?”

 

She nodded.

 

He squeezed her hand and walked her out. As she was driving away, he muttered softly, “Lord...please let it not be too late.”  


____________________________

 

He had been many times over the years. It had been a few months, but he still tried to make the trip a several times a year.

 

The bars locked behind him and he waited for the man to appear.

 

Maul Opress was not a handsome man. He was further marred by the strange tattoos that littered his face, and he had lived a hard life that showed up in his appearance. His skin was rough and his features were sharp and exaggerated.

 

In spite of that, and all his past transgressions, his soul had gone through a transition of sorts. After serving a notorious gang member for years, he eventually testified against Sheev Palpatine and helped him get the death sentence he deserved. He would serve out his life in prison, but he was freer now behind bars than he had ever been on the street.

 

“Reverend.” He greeted him with a gruff voice. “It’s good to see you.”

 

Ben’s eyes softened. He was always a sucker for a redemption story. “Maul...how are you?”

 

The other man smirked. “I have been worse. I am paying for my crimes...it is a twisted blessing.”

 

Ben set a box on the table. It was a box of Beeman’s gum...Maul’s favorite.

 

“I was due to see you soon anyway, but my visit got moved up a bit by a situation I am dealing with. I have some questions for you...about Qi’ra Johnson.”

 

The other man’s eyes hardened. “What do you want to know about that b-...I mean, pardon reverend...that woman?”

 

“Well...it’s come to light recently that the paternity of Rey might be in question.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah...do you know anything about that?”

 

He grunted. “Yeah...I know about it.”

 

“So is it true...about Han?”

 

Maul’s eyes hardened. He was mostly a repentant man lately, but a few things still made his blood boil...and that woman was one of them.

 

“Let me tell you what happened...”

 

________________________________

 

Ben had taken Friday off of work and then had the whole weekend to be home with Rey.

 

He was worried about her. She wasn’t really eating, and she slept a lot.

 

Sabine said that was to be expected...after the ordeal she had been through.

 

He held her, and she would cling to him as if she depended on him for breathing.

 

They didn’t talk about it...they didn’t talk about anything.

 

They didn’t know how to move past it. To lose the baby...that was something...but then the other…

 

When she would fall asleep, Ben would step out into the family room and collapse on the couch. He thought that the war had broken him, but this was a new kind of attack.

 

He felt like he couldn’t come up for air. He had to be strong for her...but how could he when he was wounded as well?

 

He just wept.

 

__________________________________

 

He went back to work Monday. Sabine assured him that she would keep watch over Rey.

 

He moved through the day like he was stuck in a nightmare that he couldn’t wake up from.

 

And when he got home, the house was dark.

 

He started to leave to go to Sabine’s, and as he passed the dining table, he noticed the envelope with his name.

 

_My Beloved Ben,_

 

_I am so sorry, Ben. This...this is all my fault. I should have known from the beginning that my past would hurt us, no matter how hard I tried to be a different person._

 

_I should have just accepted what I was._

 

_I love you so much...and I can’t bear the thought of you being bound to me. We couldn’t have a future, Ben. No family. If I stay, I would be robbing you from the chance to have something good and whole...right._

 

_So, I’m releasing you, my love. Please don’t try to find me. I only have the strength to do this now because I have hope for you to have a good life._

 

_I will love you always...and will never forget how beautifully you loved me._

 

_Yours Always,_

_Rey_

 

He was only mildly conscious of the guttural moans he was making. He went to the kitchen and pulled out every dish...every cup, and threw them against the wall.

 

He begged the actions to give him some sort of release. They did not.

 

He crumpled into a heap on the floor, not even noticing the trickle of blood coming from his knuckles.

 

____________________________

 

The neighbor next door to Ben and Rey came to get Sabine, knowing she was friendly with them and hearing the noises.

 

She took a deep breath. She knew that this would be hard...but she had to be strong...for Rey.

 

_____________________________

 

“What do you mean you won’t tell me where she is?” he raged.

 

She was scared...legitimately scared. She knew Ben in his right mind would never hurt her...but that was not this Ben,

 

“Ben...I know this is hard. But, you didn’t see her. She was desperate. I was scared she was going to hurt herself.”

 

He ran his hand through his hair, pulling hard at the strands that were getting too long. He didn’t care.

 

“And...what...then you just let her go away? By herself? Being afraid she would hurt herself?”

 

She shook her head. “No...she feels like she is moving towards a purpose. She won’t do anything...I’m not sure she ever would have. She just needed something to look forward to. Now, when she gets there...she will let me know. She needs time.”

 

His voice was ragged, void of and yet full of emotion somehow at the same time. “She...she’s my wife.”

 

Sabine carefully put her hand on his arm. “I know, son...I know. But you two need to figure this out...apart for now. Maybe...maybe it would be best for you to go home and try to sort through this with your family...find out the truth. If you leave your number and address, I can let you know when I hear from her. Let’s see what time sorts out.”

 

____________________________

 

The next day, Ben quit his job. They were upset to lose him but understood.

 

When he got home, he looked around, unsure what to do. Rey had taken her clothes, and he didn’t want any of the things that reminded him of her and their few precious months together. He just couldn’t look at them anymore.

 

He sat on the couch and reached for the phone.

 

Leia answered. He sat for a moment, just willing the lump in his throat to calm enough to speak after he squeaked out a greeting.

 

“Shh...she lost the baby. She’s gone.”

 

“The baby? You know it was a girl?”

 

“No...Ma...Rey. She’s gone, and I don’t know what to do.”

 

Leia exhaled and felt the pain of Ben seep in her bones. “Just...just come home, son...we will figure it out.”

 

_______________________________

 

The next morning, Leia and Poe showed up.

 

Ben was going to leave after breakfast, but they got there before he could even eat.

 

Poe clasped him on the shoulder. “We couldn’t let you drive home alone, Ben.”

 

He nodded. The food hurt to swallow.

 

Poe looked around the room. “How are you going to get all this home?”

 

Ben stood up to leave, grabbing his Army knapsack, walking to the front door before he turned to answer him. “I’m not.”

 

_______________________________________

  


Poe drove his car. Ben never was a talker, but this was the most silence the two friends had ever sat in. Poe made a few valiant attempts but quickly realized that Ben needed quiet...and space.

 

When they pulled into Houston, Ben shook his head when Poe signaled to turn off on the city loop.

 

“No...Poe. Not the city. I want to go to the ranch. Please.”


	15. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry...I know that last one was rough. Hopefully this will help. It won't make it all better...but it's a start!

That night, as agreed, Pastor Kenobi came to the Solo home. Han greeted him haltingly. He could tell that the man felt awkward towards him. He hoped what he had to share with them would alleviate some of that for him.

 

They settled in the study.

 

“Well...I don’t want to keep you two waiting. I have a strong relationship with a gentleman in the prison, Maul Opress. He was part of the Empire gang but wound up testifying against the leader, Palpatine. He came to me years ago for help turning himself in and wanting someone who believed him. He was instrumental towards taking down the whole crime organization. The leaders got the death sentence, and Maul got 20 years with the chance for parole. He is eligible for parole in a year.”

 

“When all of this was happening, he told me he wanted to do the right thing for the love of his life and their unborn child. He wanted to be upright for them. Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for that woman to move on to other men, and he never got to meet his daughter.”

 

Ben looked at Han, right in the eyes. “Han, his girlfriend was Qi’ra, and Rey is his daughter. She found out she was pregnant with her right before he went to prison. His friend, Sam Eggers, confirmed that a few weeks after Maul was incarcerated, he saw Qi’ra with you that night at the bar. He also heard her bragging later that she was going to get you to take care of her and the baby. Others at the bar that night heard her, and also corroborate Sam’s statement that she said she tricked you into thinking something happened...but it didn’t. She joked with them that you passed out before you could even take off your boots.”

 

He watched Han’s shoulders sag in relief.

 

He pulled out several envelopes from the inner pocket on his suit. “I have five sworn statements here from Maul, Sam, Nick, and two others.”

 

He handed them over to Han. “You can use these how you see fit...and please let the kids know as soon as possible.”

 

Han’s head shot up, and he looked at Leia. “I...Rey’s gone, Rev...she took off. Ben is beside himself and doesn’t know where she is.”

 

Ben’s eyes slid shut. “You...no one has any idea what this poor girl has gone through...and now that she is out there alone...because of the sins of her own mother…”

 

Han clasped his hand in a tight grip. “We are going to get her, Rev...I promise. I need to talk to my lawyer...then we are leaving.”

 

___________________________

 

With the state Ben was in, and his anger towards Han, they decided that the pastor he trusted should go tell him. So, he drove out to the ranch, praying the whole way.

 

He pulled up to the house and saw Ben in the pasture, inspecting the shoe of Silencer.

 

“He alright?” he asked as he approached the young man.

 

Ben looked up and shrugged his shoulders. “He will be...just has a rock stuck.”

 

The older man nodded. “I’ve just come from your parent’s house, Ben...I have some news.”

 

Ben was just quiet, but stopped his ministrations with the horse. He was waiting...in fear.

 

“Ben...Han is not her father. I have testimonies from her father and others that confirmed that Qi’ra was lying. It was all a lie...to extort money from your father.”

 

He saw Ben’s shoulders slump, so similar to his dad’s. Then he released a big sigh. “It doesn’t matter, pastor...she’s gone. I don’t know where she is.”

 

“I heard that...I am sorry. Your mom mentioned that a woman back in Mississippi might get contact from her?”

 

Ben nodded, tears streaming down his face now.

 

“I’ll tell you what...I can call her and explain everything, and see if I can’t get some information.”

 

“She won’t say,” he whispered.

 

The older Ben smirked. “You would be surprised at what people will tell a pastor that they won’t tell anyone else. Let me try.”

 

Ben silently led him in the house and showed him the scrap of paper with Sabine’s number.

 

He watched as his pastor dialed, hoping against hope that he was right, but he couldn’t sit and listen. He went out to the porch swing, where he had sat so many times with her and tried to quell the ache in his gut...but no relief ever came.

 

After about 20 minutes, Pastor Kenobi came out.

 

He looked a little shocked. “Well...I do have some information...but I think we need to drive to your parents’ house before I tell you. This concerns them too.”

 

_______________________________

 

The two men were quiet the whole way into the city. Ben came with the pastor...not wanting to drive himself.

 

Han’s eyes welled when he saw his son. He was never known for communicating well…

 

“Son...I...I am so sorry. I am going to help...help you find her. No matter what it takes.”

 

Ben allowed him to pull him into an embrace. He was silent, though. He couldn’t seem to swallow the lump in his throat.

 

“Folks...can we go back into the study? I have something to talk to you about.”

 

Han turned to him. “Sure, Rev.”

 

Once they all sat, Pastor Kenobi began.

 

“So...I just had a most enlightening conversation with Ben and Rey’s former neighbor, Sabine. It seems that she knew a bit more than she let on to Ben. While she doesn’t know exactly where she is...like her address, she does know where she was headed and who will know. And...you aren’t going to like it.”

 

They looked to him expectantly for him to continue.

 

“It seems that Sabine’s dearly departed husband, Fred, was a war buddy with...you aren’t going to believe this..”

 

Leia rolled her eyes. “Oh for heaven’s sakes Ben...spit it out already!”

 

“It’s Luke...Sabine sent Rey to find Luke...in California. He lives in a town called Whittier, just outside of Los Angeles. It’s a Quaker town that fit with his pacifist beliefs.”

 

“California?” Leia said in surprise. She hadn’t talked to her brother in years.

 

He nodded. “ I have his address and phone number. I’m not sure how you all want to proceed now...but you have all the information.”

 

Han glanced meaningfully at Leia before turning his gaze to his son and clasping his shoulder. “Well Ben...let’s go get our girl.”

 


	16. California

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This should make things better...

It took time to get out of town. Han had some legal things he was still taking care of that took more...persuasion than anticipated. Finally almost a week later, they were ready to go.

 

As the three of them wound across interstate 10, Ben had lots of time to think. He thought about the last time he saw Luke.

 

It was after he graduated...and had just enlisted.

 

After the first war, Luke had become an anti-war advocate. War had turned his heart away from the agony of it, and he ran to the other extreme. He said it didn't do any good anyway since they were back at war against the same country as last time.

 

He had tried ad nauseum to talk Ben out of going. He said it wasn’t their war. But Pearl Harbor had been bombed five months earlier, and Ben strongly felt like it was now America’s war. Luke was incensed. They had almost come to fisticuffs over it. They probably would have had it not been for Luke’s non-violent opinions finally pulling him away. But...he was mad.

 

That was the last time he...or his parents...saw his uncle.

 

He was nervous to see him again...even more worried about what he’d been telling Rey about him.

 

What kind of rotten kismet was it that Sabine knew him and recommended him to Rey.

 

They stayed the first night in Albuquerque. Ben was grateful that Han had gotten him his own room. He sensed that his parents were still dealing with the aftershocks of Qi’ra’s lies and needed their own space too.

 

Han had threatened her with legal action for fraud and extortion unless she swore under oath to tell the truth. He had the document of her statement with the others to show Rey when he saw her.

 

If he saw her.

 

They made it to Whittier late the next night and checked-in at the William Penn hotel. They agreed on a time to meet in the lobby to get breakfast before heading to Luke’s.

 

Ben had been numb since she had left. He felt hot tears sliding down his cheeks as he tried to pray and drift off to sleep.

 

He was desperate to find her...to make her understand the truth. He felt like when she left she had taken the life out of him, and he was just a shell left.

 

______________________________

 

The next day Han took them to Jack’s on the boulevard at the suggestion of the desk clerk at the hotel.

 

Ben wished he could taste it. It smelled good...but when the food hit his mouth it all tasted like sawdust.

 

He settled for toast and coffee.

 

The table was uncharacteristically quiet for the Solo family. In fact...the whole trip had been. Each of them was dealing with their own demons.

 

Han turned the car up a tree-lined street. Leia called out the address: 211 Park Street. Ben chuckled in his head as he noticed the park across the street. Californians weren’t very creative with their street names.

 

Leia looked to both of them. “I think I should go up alone first. He and I left things the best of any of us.

 

Han and Ben grunted in approval. Ben watched her go to the door and knock. A red-headed woman answered the door and enfolded Leia in her arms, calling out behind her. She closed the door.

 

“Fifty bucks says we stay out here for half an hour,” Han quipped.

 

Ben snickered and turned to look at the park. There was a young mom with three kids playing there. His mind drifted to what could have been...to what he and Rey lost.

 

He turned quickly.

 

35 minutes later, Leia opened the door and waved to them to come inside.

 

Han turned to smirk at him as he opened his door.

 

Ben took a deep breath. He couldn’t help but feel like his uncle held his future in his hands.

 

___________________________

 

The woman was Mara...Luke’s wife. They had been married for 3 years. She was a widow...her husband had been a Navy officer and died at Pearl Harbor.

 

Ben squeezed her hand in understanding. He liked his new aunt, and he felt like she would understand.

 

They had met at the farmer’s market. Luke’s eyes were warm now when last they had looked upon him they were cold.

 

“Ben...I am sorry for my words the last time I saw you. It was wrong for me to let you go off to that horrible war without the support of your kin. I still don’t agree with all the reason’s we were involved...but Mara has opened my eyes to a few things. I am proud of you, though...for your service. You are a good man, Ben.”

 

Ben was stunned and couldn’t speak, so he just nodded as Luke continued.

 

“When Sabine called me, she just said she had a young friend that needed somewhere to make a new start. I...I didn’t know about you two. She has said things...alluded to things that led us to believe she was suffering from a broken heart, but no detail. Your mom filled us in. That Qi’ra tramp always was up to no good…”

 

“Luke!” Mara said aghast, “Language!”

 

He smiled at his wife. ”Sorry love, but you don’t even know the half of it, and what Leia shared is pretty bad. I can’t believe she is Rey’s mother. And...her real father is…”

 

“Maul Opress,” Han supplied. “I don’t know if you remember...he was one of Palpatine’s men. He was the one that testified against him and got them all the death penalty. Ben Kenobi has been visiting him, all these years…”

 

Ben found his voice. He couldn’t wait any longer.

 

“Luke...where is she?”

 

“Well...she has been staying here with us...in the apartment. She is at work now...she’ll be home around 5.”

 

“Where is she working?”

 

“She just got a job with a friend of mine...at Bill’s Garage. He was hesitant, but she sure proved him wrong about a girl being able to be a good mechanic,” he snickered.

 

Ben smiled. His face almost hurt from the effort...it had been weeks.

 

“I...I need to talk to her...alone.”

 

“Of course. Why don’t us and your parents go to dinner and a movie...that will give you a few hours to sort things out, and we have a lot of catching up to do anyhow. You all are welcome to stay here. The apartment is over the garage, and there are guest rooms upstairs.”

 

They all agreed, and Ben’s heartfelt the first shred of peace it had since he walked into that empty Mississippi apartment.

 

_____________________________

 

He watched for her in the kitchen breakfast nook at the back of the house. Luke said she usually headed to her apartment first to clean up before coming to the big house.

 

What would he say? Would he even be able to speak?

 

He sipped his water and waited.

 

By the time she started down the walk, he had moved to the back porch. When she rounded the back corner of the house, he felt all the air rush from his lungs. She didn’t see him. She kept walking, her head looking town.

 

He had to say something.

 

“You look awfully scrawny for a mechanic.”

 

He saw her freeze and she stayed looking away.

 

Her voice was raw when she spoke. “You...you shouldn’t be here, Ben.”

 

He stood up and walked towards her. He saw her wince when she heard his footsteps approach.

 

“She lied...Rey...she lied about it all. I can tell you the whole story, and who your real father is...but right now I can unequivocally reassure you that we are not related.”

 

She finally turned to look at him, her eyes searching his face as if trying to measure the fidelity of his statements. “But...but….”

 

Ben shook his head. “It’s true, Sweetheart. Your real father, Maul Opress, was sent off to prison a month earlier, and we have sworn testimony of him, four witnesses, and your…” he paused, not able to say her name, “mother...all confirming the truth. She was already pregnant when she met him, and nothing happened between them. He was just too drunk to remember, and she extorted money from him for years.”

 

Rey blinked, soaking in his words. She thought about the little windfalls of money Qi’ra would get over the years. She and Plutt didn’t work...Rey had always wondered where it came from. She had assumed from some sort of crimes...but she wasn’t expecting this.

 

“So...you mean…” her voice broke.

 

She stood there, stuck in place and her eyes drinking him in like a woman dying of thirst, before flying into his arms. He held her there in the driveway for some time before scooping her up and carrying her up the stairs to her apartment. He quickly found the couch in her little living area and sat, holding her there.

 

Her body shuddered in sobs, and his own tears ran in rivulets down his face and onto her head tucked under his chin.

 

It felt like hours.

 

It probably was.

 

_____________________________

 

They had finally stopped, and Rey realized she had been sitting in her greasy work clothes up against him.

 

He didn’t care.

 

It was dark out now, and neither of them had eaten.

 

She went to take a shower, and after water was running, there was a soft knock at the door.

 

When he peeked out, he saw it was his ma.

 

“I don’t want to interrupt, but we brought you two home some food...some stew and fresh rolls. We went to the hotel and got your stuff.” She pointed to the bag at her feet.

 

She looked back up at him, her eyes glistening. “Han wants to talk to her tomorrow...but for tonight, can you just let us know...is she OK?”

 

He gave her a soft smile. “She will be...we both will.”

 

He had daydreams about what would happen when he found her again. How they would fall into each other's arms and love each other again.

 

After they ate, though, Ben found a new fantasy. Time would come for the other...but for the night, loving Rey was holding her in his arms as she drifted off to an exhausted sleep.

 

He found he didn’t mind, though. His battered emotions had needed the reassurance of her in his arms, solid and trusting, perhaps even more than his body needed her passion.

 

He drifted off to sleep and found rest for the first time in a long time.

 

___________________________

 

The next morning, he woke to find her looking at him. Sunlight was streaming in through her lacy curtains, indicating it was well past early morning hours.

 

He tightened his grip on her. He feared he would never be able to let her leave his arms again.

 

There would be much to do today...but as he looked into the content eyes of his wife, there was only one thing to be done now.

 

He drew her up till she was laying on top of him, her face flush with his. He didn’t mind her stale morning breath...and he hoped she felt the same as he gently drew her lips to him. They were soft at first, before probing deeper, asking for entry and acceptance.

 

“I missed you so much,” he breathed when they broke. “I was like a hollowed out shell, Rey. I...I just couldn’t face a life without you.”

 

Her fingers found their way in his hair. “I missed you so...I didn’t know how I was going to let you go. The only way I could was to leave. I’m sorry...I’m sorry for leaving, and for my mother…”

 

His hands flew to the sides of her face and his expressed was tender yet fierce.

 

“Don’t you dare...Rey. Don’t you apologize or think you are in any way responsible for her. She used us all like pawns in her selfish game, and you don’t get to take on this. I won’t let you.”

 

She sunk down a bit on his chest, her eye level at his neck now. “I have thought about us a lot since I left. I couldn’t bring myself to regret one moment, even if the worst was true. It was worth it to have those months of joy loving you...even if I had to let you go.”

 

“I’m here, Sweetheart, and I’m never letting you go again. I promise you that.”

 

She nodded, pressing soft kisses on his neck and clavicle area.

 

He groaned, his body fully aware of her and begging for her touch now.

 

He rolled them over, his eyes searching hers for permission. She answered by rising up and catching his lips in hers, the gentleness replaced by want.

 

He sighed lowered himself to full body contact, electric pulses shooting from each point where they connected.

 

The family was going to have to wait for a while. Nothing else was as important as the two of them at this moment, their bodies reassuring and comforting the other in a way that words could not.


	17. The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awhhh...it's getting all better now!
> 
> In the next post, I will give a little more info about where I got all of this. For now, enjoy a happy chapter.

They made their way to the main house after lunch time. The laughter and conversation that had been happening stopped.

 

“We’re hungry,” Ben said, his voice soft. Luke and Han exchanged an amused look before Han rose.

 

“I’m sure you are...what with all that... _sleeping_ ,” Han teased. “Ben...why don’t you go make you two some sandwiches. I need to talk to your gal.”

 

He nodded and kissed the top of her head before heading to the kitchen. Mara left the table to help him.

 

Han led her to the back porch.

 

He sighed. “Kid...I owe you the biggest apology…”

 

She took his hand and squeezed it. “Really...you don’t have to…”

 

He put his hand over hers, trapping it. “I do...I must. I need you to know, though...it was nothing personal to you. I couldn’t say why I was reacting to you the way I did. I know that could have left you feeling like I thought you weren’t good enough for Ben...that wasn’t the case.”

 

“I was so caught in what I thought was a lie...and I should have fessed up to Leia all those years ago, but I was scared. I had known Qi’ra since we were kids...we were even friends once. She had a rough life. I’m not surprised, at how things have turned out for her. She almost didn’t even have a chance. But, she is an adult, and she should know better…”

 

“Did you know my father? Maul?”

 

He shook his head. “Not personally. I know of him...he was a bad dude. It was a big deal, though, when he turned on Palpatine and offered his testimony. I always admired the courage that took.”

 

She nodded...lost in thought.

 

“Rey...I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us...me. Ben loves you so much...I was worried we were going to lose him too. He and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, but this whole thing has changed us. I want you to know...Leia and I see you as kin. We want you as part of our family. You are one of us.”

 

She looked up to him, the man that scared her a few months ago, and on impulse threw her arms around his neck. He froze for a minute before wrapping his arms around her back to return the embrace.

 

“Thank you...Rey. It’s awfully gracious of you to give me a second chance.”

 

Her eyes raised to her husband, peering out the window and watching them with anxiety visible on his face. She allowed her face to break out in a smile to reassure him.

 

Everything was going to be alright.

 

___________________________

 

Ben and Mara made enough for all of them, and they sat at the table to eat.

 

“So,” Luke started, “have you kids given any thought as to what is next?”

 

“We haven’t really talked about it,” Rey said, looking at him questioningly.

 

Ben shrugged as he chewed and swallowed a bite. “I will go wherever Rey wants to...wherever she feels the most comfortable.”

 

Han spoke up. “Your mother and I have talked about it...we want to give you the ranch. We hardly make it out there anymore...it’s more yours anyhow. It’s an option of where you could live...but even if you choose not to be there all the time, it’s yours.”

 

Rey’s eyes lit up. She loved the open spaces of the ranch, and so much of her and Ben’s early story had happened there.

 

“I will think about it...thank you, Han and Leia, for the generous offer.”

 

Luke piped in, “You two are welcome to stay here for a while too...if you need more time before deciding your next step. The apartment is yours as long as you’d like.”

 

Ben looked at her. “I would like to see California a bit more. Dad has offered me a manager job back at the company...but it isn’t urgent if that is what we decide to do. What if we get a car and travel around a bit before we decide. Maybe up the coast?”

 

Her eyes light up again. “I like that idea that idea...a lot. I suppose I need to give my two weeks notice to Bill…”

 

________________________________

 

Luke had given them a map book of California. They laid on their bellies next to each other on the bed, pouring over it together.

 

When their conversation died down and stilled, he asked her, “Do you want to go back to Texas? We don’t have to...we could stay here. I don’t care, Rey...really. I can find work, and I’d follow you to the moon.”

 

“I think so. I do want to get back there...I love the ranch, But, I also like the idea of traveling here for a while.”

 

He grinned his lopsided grin down at her. “Alright then...it’s decided. A month traveling in California, then we will decide what is next.”

 

___________________________________

 

Rey talked to Bill, and he told her just one more week would be fine. He wanted her to get on with her life.

 

As she worked, Ben bought a vehicle. Han and Leia had returned home, and he needed something to get them home. He decided on a truck to replace the one at the farm that had seen better days. A green Chevy pickup was his choice. He thought Rey would like the color.

 

Luke had told him about a developing community a friend at the chamber of commerce had told him about.

 

He drove the new truck to the coast and down a bit. Balboa was a man-made island that was a residential community cropping up. He couldn’t resist the temptation of getting a house on an island by the sea for Rey. It would be her dream.

 

He went to the development office and saw the plans, then they showed him the lot he liked. He put a deposit on an oceanfront bungalow. Three bedrooms and a dock out front. He couldn’t wait to surprise her. Even if they never lived there, it was a good investment and it would give them a vacation place to come.

 

She wrapped up her work and they said their goodbyes to Luke and Mara.

 

“We are going to head south first,” he explained. Then thought to ask, “Have you been to the ocean yet here?”

 

She quickly shook her head. “I have been working most of the time...I haven’t really been anywhere.”

 

He checked them in at Hotel Laguna in Laguna Beach before driving back up to Balboa. He drove across the bridge to the island and followed the street numbers until he found what he was looking for. He stopped at it--1909 East Bay Avenue.

 

She looked at him in confusion. “Why are we stopping here? At a construction site?

 

He just grinned and pulled her out of the truck. “C’mon...you will see.”

 

He turned and looked across the bay and then back to the site. “This is a new area being developed…” he nuzzled her hair, holding her to him from behind her, “...and that one...that house being built is yours,” he rumbled in her ear.

 

He felt the jolt in her body. “Wha---what? What do you mean mine?”

 

He turned her around to face him. “Luke gave me this hot tip on an investment opportunity, and when I saw it here...I knew I wanted to do this. Give you a house on an island at the ocean...just like in your dreams.”

 

“B-b-b-but...I thought we were going to live in Texas?”

 

He cupped her face. “We can stay wherever you want. We can live here and visit the ranch, or live there and visit here...or live somewhere else and visit both. We have options.”

 

She reached up and held his hand, tears brimming in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. “I love you, Ben Solo. Thank you...for this...for loving me…”

 

“You are pretty easy to love...Rey Solo. I want to give you the world when you look at me like that.”

 

“I don’t need the world, Ben...just you.”

 

_____________________________________

 

They traveled south to San Diego, then back up north, twisting their way along the California coast.

 

He took her to Hollywood and they saw a movie at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. They rode the carousel at the Santa Monica Pier. They drove the twisty ocean-front road of highway 1 up the coast to Ventura and Santa Barbara. Finally, they got to San Francisco and spent days there before heading to the mountains to the east.

 

It was on their third day in Yosemite National Park that she turned to him, content and satiated in his arms looking out the window of their room at the Ahwahnee Hotel that she turned to him and said, “I think I’m ready to go home now, Ben.”

 


	18. Epilogue - 1961

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am one of the old ladies around here. I saw the original SW...in the theater...as a kid. I think I was 7. It began a lifelong devotion to SW. I still remember when ESB was released...and the aftermath of it. We had no internet...maybe not even a VCR at the time, and we could only go to the theater repeatedly and then debate with friends what it all meant: could Vader really be Luke's father, will Han survive? I am admittedly not a fan of the PT except for historical context. But, what I love about this current ST, particularly after TLJ, is that it feels like it did when ESB came out as a kid. What is going to happen? Will Rey and Ben really be together? Can the son of Han & Leia, that Luke & Han died for, REALLY be destined to evil? My heart says no.
> 
> So to get to play with all the characterizations and themes in these beloved movies--together with this fandom--and be able to explore story elements present in them with other powerful stories, existing or imagined, is pretty amazeballs! Thank you for coming with me on this journey. If you liked this story, you might like my other 5 you can find on my profile page. Thanks for reading my little musings her!

Rey breathed in the unique smell of the salt air. She loved their home on the ranch in Houston, but this place by the sea in California made her soul sing. She was giddy at the knowledge that they would spend the next month here.

 

When Ben told her about Han’s plans to retire and have him take over Falcon Oil, she told him she wanted a month in California first. She knew the increased duties would take him away from her and the children more, and she wanted this time together at their favorite place before that.

 

Her eyes fell to the three bodies splashing along the shore. When they came here, Ben was a different person. That was part of why she liked it here. In California, it was just them. No responsibilities or duties, no work...no bittersweet memories. He was free and light.

 

He hefted the eleven-year-old boy with dark hair over his shoulder as he chased down the shrieking girl with dark blonde hair. She silently wondered how much longer he would be able to pick Jack up like that. The boy was long and gangly, but she could tell by his eating lately he was fixing to sprout up again soon. She imagined he would be like Ben someday, but she could scarcely believe that tiny baby she had held those years ago would become a towering man. It was happening...she could see it...but it was still hard to believe.

 

It had taken a while for her to get pregnant again...after the first. 

 

That suited them just fine, though. She was grateful for the sweet memories of just her and Ben those first few years of marriage. It was bliss. They traveled and spent a lot of time at the Balboa House. She could scarcely look at any surface of the home and  _ not  _ think of their sweet days here before kids.

 

She loved their children with her life, but it was definitely an adjustment to their lifestyle when they came along. Now that they were getting older, it felt like things were shifting again.

 

When Jack was born, Sabine had decided to move to Houston. She had such affection for Rey and Ben, with all of her kin being gone...and then for Pastor Kenobi. It warmed her heart that two of her favorite people were no longer alone. And...it just felt right to name their baby boy after the son Sabine had lost.

 

Ellie ran quickly away from the boys, her long braids bouncing behind her. At times like this, with joy plastered all over her face, her hazel eyes would trend greener. It befuddled her that the two of them could have a blonde child, but Leia said it was the color of Luke’s when he was younger...and their father.

 

Jack’s eyes...he had gotten the Skywalker icy blue shade. In shape and expression, they were so like Ben’s, but the arresting blue with his dark hair was all his own. He was a striking boy. She was glad he was a few years away yet from caring what girls thought about all that. Especially since he looked so much like his father.

 

Ben. She considered him and her heart leaped. He still looked the same. She noticed lately that he had a few strands of silver streaking in on the sides, but his muscular physique was identical to the day she met him. He could still make her stomach turn somersaults just looking at him too...like now watching him frolic in the waves in swim trunks with the kids.

 

There was probably nothing sexier, she thought, than her husband caring for them all and being the man he was for their family, all while still looking at her like he did. 

 

It was the little things. Like kissing the kids goodnight, even if he got home after they were all asleep. The way he would sneak the kids off for ice cream before dinner sometimes and pretend like she didn’t know what he did. It was the habit he had of keeping mints on his nightstand to kiss her good morning with fresh breath and not mind that she hadn’t had any. Or...his uncanny ability to know when she was having a bad day and gather her in his arms and deposit kisses into her hair when he got home. Maybe it was that he still looked at her body like she was a goddess, even though she knew the years and kids had left their mark.

 

It was all of it...and so much more. Loving Ben was more than she could have dreamed of.

 

A trickle of delight ran through her when she remembered the kids were staying at Han and Leia’s a few doors down tonight. 

 

Luke and Mara would be down later, and they were doing a bonfire at the beach...while Rey and Ben got a date night. She loved that they all had houses all in a row here...like their own little family compound. Luke had been right about the investment value, too. This part of California was developing more and more, and the property values on their exclusive little island had skyrocketed.

 

She closed her eyes and just soaked it all in. She was so grateful that she got the chance to write her own story...so grateful for Ben’s love that had both inspired and written on so many of the pages.

 

She was also grateful that she got to know her father before he passed. He had a good 5 years with them after he was released. He had taught her a lot about forgiveness and letting go of the past. Jack was just a toddler when he passed away, but she was glad for Maul that he got to know him...snuggle with him...and watch all the baby stages he had missed with her. It had healed a piece of her heart she didn’t know was still bleeding.

 

Before she heard him, she felt his warm, wet kiss that tasted of the ocean. His hair, longer now, was dripping down on her face.

 

Her eyes flew open and met his, crinkled in mirth. He kissed her again, longer now, and ran his hand up the side of her suit to her ribs. She knew he was holding back for the sake of being in public.

 

When he finally pulled back, he smirked and said, “You, Mrs. Solo, look entirely too dry.”

 

She squealed as he reached down to scoop her up and carry her down to the water. She acted mad when he dropped her down into the waves. Then she helicoptered her hands to splash him.

 

He threw his head back in laughter. It tugged at her like a magnet, and she jumped into his arms, looping hers up around his neck while she jumped and locked her legs around his torso before kissing him soundly.

 

“Eewhhh...gross!” Jack exclaimed.

 

“Mo-om...Da-ad...stop...it’s embarrassing…” Ellie gasped.

 

Ben chuckled and looked down at her, his hands running down her back, dangerously close to her…

 

“When are they going to my parents’?”

 

She shook her head and laughed. “Not soon enough…”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are some of the details of my inspiration
> 
> Liar’s Moon:  
> -Sweet romance  
> -Houston and the oil industry  
> -They meet at the fair (besides her working on his car)  
> -Flip of story - he is rich and she’s poor  
> -Rey/Ginny learns to do household chores from a neighbor  
> -The collarless shirt she learns to make  
> -They find out they are “siblings” from the doctors  
> -The mom finally confesses her lie about the true parentage  
> Here is a good synopsis of the movie plot if you are interested: http://www.fast-rewind.com/liarsmoon.htm#%22
> 
> My Grandparents:  
> -The overall feel of romance back then and how young couples related  
> -5 months from meeting to marriage  
> -He worked in the Houston oil fields too  
> -Time in Whittier  
> -Mints on his nightstand to kiss her in the morning  
> -He would never talk about the war  
> -Green Chevy Pickup  
> -A few other details I would prefer to leave anonymous  
> -I wish they saw what a good investment buying land on the crazy man-made Balboa Island would have been! If you aren't familiar with it, that area is one of the most expensive in CA...already the most expensive state!
> 
> The rest is all me and Reylo!


End file.
